I Have Cognitive Dissonance

I majored in Sociology and Social Work. I spent way WAY too much time learning about cognitive dissonance. To spare you all the pain, I'll sum up for you: Cognitive Dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding on to contradictory ideas simultaneously. People attempt to reduce these uncomfortable feelings by changing their attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, or most commonly, rationalizing their feelings away. For example, I have known for some time that eating healthily has a myriad of benefits. I have also known for some time that historically my diet has left a lot to be desired (like vitamins.). I rationalized this away by thinking to myself, "Who cares what I eat? I work out like crazy (true) and I'm not overweight (true again)." So, I just pushed those little nagging feelings to the back of my mind and tried to forget about them.

A couple of months ago, soon after we returned from a trip to Phoenix, I realized that despite my fiendish and daily exercise, I just didn't feel healthy or good inside (It may have had something to do with the fact that while on an 8 day vacation we ate out TWELVE TIMES.). I couldn't rationalize those nagging feelings away any longer because my physical body wasn't cooperating by continuing to operate full steam ahead despite the fact that I was fueling it largely with Swedish Fish. I got really motivated to make some changes because A) it was never going to get any easier so why put it off any longer and B) I wanted to run faster.

I started an online food diary, and that was a rude awakening. I dusted off my food scale and that was an EXTREMELY rude awakening. I committed to myself that I would be "real" about what is going into my body, so I record just about everything, and let me tell you, it is humiliating to record 100 grams of cookie dough in a food diary. The food diary I chose (caloriecount.about.com) also allows me to log calories burned and keeps a running total of my calories in and calories out all day. And best of all, at the end of the day, the program analyzes the foods I've chosen, notes my intake of fiber and key vitamins, and then GIVES ME A GRADE. I love it. If I don't get an A or A- I get a little frustrated with myself and gear myself up for a better day the next day. (Somewhere Jack Barratt is banging his head on his desk wondering why I didn't care this much about grades when he was footing the bill for my college education). I actually am retraining myself to eat the foods that my body needs and I am losing the taste for the foods that do nothing for me. I've learned things that I didn't know before, like that my body hates salt and loves fiber, and cherries are delicious, that laughing cow cheese wedges are heaven, and that you can eat a ton of fruits and vegetables for very few calories.

And know what? I have lost 11 pounds. I can't even stand it I'm so excited. I didn't do this solely to lose weight, but I'd be a big liar if I tried to tell you that watching those pounds peel off hasn't been extremely rewarding. I also know that each one of those pounds was adding 2 or 3 seconds to my miles, so again I've been very motivated by seeing my running times get faster. I can't say that I'm at the end of this road, because I still really like candy, but it has felt really good to rid myself of the weight of a little cognitive dissonance.