Anyone Can Be a D.B.A.

I take my life kind of seriously- I can admit it. When I decided to spend the bulk of my time at home with my girls, I approached it like I approached most jobs in my life: I wanted to be as good at it as I could possibly be. I felt if I was going to be "at home" that I would have good kids, a strong marriage, a clean house, and decent meals. I'm not completely successful at any of it, but I strive for it. I was called a "domestic goddess" on more than one occasion, and it rankled me a little, and I will recap why. The term "goddess" seems to imply that one is born knowing things and being good at all of them. It suggests a combination of aloofness and charm which I certainly lack. Ultimately I felt that the word didn't do justice to the physical, emotional, and mental investment I was making in my home life. When I decided to choose a term that I felt better encompassed my role, I reached back into my vocabulary archives, and having been raised at the knee of assorted Barratts, Judds, and Wests, chose to call myself a "Domestic Badass." (Webster's definition of "badass": of formidable strength or skill).

Anyone can be a Domestic Badass. Only a few rules exist:
1: Married or single, kids or not, it doesn't matter. DBA-ery is open and available to all.
2: There is no one right way to be a wife, mother, or woman in general. No judgements are allowed and the benefit of the doubt is encouraged. Give it to others AND to yourself. It will feel good.
3: DBA's should be passionate about giving those they love the best life they can. Express it how you wish.
4: Men can be DBA's as well. Jack Barratt and Doug West were among the first.
5: You must try your hardest- but only 70 percent of the time. The remaining time can be allotted to crying, feeling low, wishing bad things would happen to others, eating crap, and taking naps whenever possible.
6: There is no religious requirement. (In fact, you can be someone who won't even SAY "Ass" except when reading your scriptures aloud and you can still be a DBA. We'll even call you a Domestic Bad-Behind if you want.)
7: Perfection is craziness: DBA's realize that perfection will not be reached in their lifetimes.
8: DBA-ery is not just for the stay at home set. Some of us work because we have to. Some of us work because we want to. Some of us stay home because we want to. Some of us stay home because we have to. We can all feel the undying burn of looking at our families and thinking, 'I would do anything in this whole world for you.'
9: DBA's support each other. I'm sick of hearing how petty and crazy women are- especially from other women. This morning I hung out with three of the most awesome ladies you will ever meet, and part of what makes them so great is that they can listen to me talk about how my 5 year old talks back like you wouldn't believe, and they can give advice, and I will promise you that not one of them thought to themselves, "What the heck is her problem? My kids would never..." I will also promise you that on one occasion or another, we have ALL been petty or crazy. See rule #2.

Who wants to join my ranks?

Oh, and there is one thing about the "Goddess" label that does ring true:

I was born to do this.