What Goes Down While I'm Busy Canning

Kate: Another day of total neglect, isn't Kiki?
Kiki: You better believe it. Hey, I didn't know you could read. How about you try to stimulate my brain in some way before bedtime?
Kate: Well, ordinarily I'd love to, but since I had 70 EL Fudges for lunch I'm finding it a little hard to concentrate.
Kiki: You had lunch? I haven't had a square meal since the fruit starting coming on.
Kate: Let me dump out the entire contents of the playroom. I took a mental note last year and made myself a little stash of fruit snacks for this year. If only I could find it. Well, I've got a few totes left full of legos (crashing sound)...there. That should do it. Everything I own is out. Still haven't found those fruit snacks though.
Kiki: Who's that guy on TV? Maybe he could help us.
Kate: D**n straight we should call Dr. Phil. And if SOMEONE could get me to kindergarten on time so I could learn my numbers, I'd know what to dial.
Kiki: You think you have it bad? I had to carefully spread this blanket across the ground hoping that if I tripped our mom, she'd be eye level with my diaper that's hanging down to my knees. I'm carrying around my own "quart jar" here, if you know what I mean.

Kate: Forget it, I'm going to bed. I'll tuck you in if you'll tuck me in.
Kiki: Don't forget to pray- we won't survive the fall without divine intervention.