Hi, Grandma! We're just here to pee and bleed.

I had some chairs to drop off to my mom. We were in a hurry because she was going to the Jazz game with George. As Kate jumped out, she jarred her loose tooth just enough to knock it out. It was a bleeder. She flipped. Seriously flipped. I grabbed Kiki out of the back seat, which peeved her because she wanted to climb through and get out my door, and we charged in to my mom's house with one child crying and bleeding profusely out of the mouth and the other screaming bloody murder. Some greeting, especially when the excitement got to Kiki and she peed. (How's the potty training going, you ask? Not well. We go in fits and starts and I have violated all parenting rules by bribing her with a pet fish if she will wear panties. And we're still not there.) Merrilee, who's had some experience with being rushed by bloody and urine-soaked children, set out to put things straight while I hauled in the chairs, and in just a few minutes I was sent home with two clean children, one holding her front tooth in a plastic bag.
"I was fine," Kate said, "until my mom elbowed me in the face."

P.S. I didn't. Just for the record.