What To Do With a Girl

Dear Brooke,

"What do you to with a girl? Please help." How can I deny such a request, even though you are widely considered "The Best Mom I Know" in every circle? So, I will mine my vast expertise derived from being a girl and bearing two girls.

First, most of parenting a girl is the same as parenting a boy (for now, anyway). Hold her and love her and whisper secrets in her ear when you rock her at night. Also, don't let anyone pressure you into putting giant bows in her hair unless YOU want to. I feel pretty strongly about this.

Later, remember these things (I try to, because it's not like my job is done):
1. Teach her that she doesn't have to take anybody's crap. She doesn't need to be rude about it either, but you can stop a lot of trouble by being the person who is willing to say, "Can you help me out and explain what you just said one more time? Because what it sounded like to me was that you were calling me a poisonous bitch and I just KNOW that a person of your caliber would never use language like that."
2. Encourage her to get as much education as humanly possible. Start the conversation early. Tell her that she can do whatever she wants to do with her life. That said, if she chooses to stay home with her kids, she should know that that's the hardest and most worthy choice. THAT said, tell her about your college friends who ALL got their Bachelor's and who ALL stay home most of the time and who are awesome.
3. Teach her to wipe front to back or prepare for a lifetime of UTI's. (Sorry if I just made anyone uncomfortable but these are the facts.).
4. Do not ever disparage yourself in any way in front of her. She will absolutely internalize the message that you don't like your body, or your face, or your attitude, or your clothes. It will impact her in a negative way for a significant amount of time, so treat yourself in a loving way and recognize that by doing so you are communicating your love for her as well.
5. Let her dress how she wants. Seriously, who cares?
6. Let her wear her hair how she wants. Again, who cares?
7. Teach her that when she is dating a boy, he is on his best behavior around her. While we all can generally accept the best in someone, dating is about deciding that you can accept the WORST in someone. If she can't accept the very worst qualities in a guy, the relationship needs to be over. Like yesterday. She deserves the best (see #1).
8. Just like your boys (I imagine), trust your gut. You are an amazing mom. xoxo Bec


What advice do you have for my friend Brooke? She just had her first baby girl after FOUR boys! I'd like wisdom from my amazing friends for one of my amazing friends.