I've been challenged by something lately. There is someone in my life that I really need to forgive of something. (That's as many details as you're going to get.) It's been a hard thing for me, because first, I'm in the right. I really am- I'm not deluding myself. Third parties who love me enough to tell me the truth have said, "I'd be mad, too." Second, the person has no remorse for their actions whatsoever.
And I'm angry. Really angry. I was venting last night with two of my nearest and dearest, and they both counseled me to forgive, even if I couldn't forget. "Forgive them all over again every day if you have to." That's what they said. And I thought to myself that I'd really been trying. I'll be honest though, my "trying" has been me praying that this person would just make things right, so I could forgive them. It's been months of that, and this anger is still in me. It's holding me back.
I thought and thought. I'm capable of forgiving. I've done a lot of it in the past, and I know with out a doubt that I've been the recipient on many occasions of the forgiveness of others. I believe in it. This person will not be exiting my life any time soon, so I need to deal with this once and for all. And last night it hit me: "God, forget about changing them. Will you please change me? Please change me into a person who is capable of forgiving them." I feel a little better already. I can at least see a path in front of me.
Mona 5th Ward primary families
9 months ago
3 comments:
Aren't we all a work in progress. At least you've come far enough to recognize where a change needs to take place. Kudos to you!
You're a far better person than I am. One of these days I'm going to grow up to be a stronger person who can actually let things go. I think it's great that you are praying for the strength to forgive, whereas I just throw eggs at people's houses. No, just kidding. It's all about the desire to be a better person, I think. It's pretty much a guarantee for eventual self-improvement, slow though the process may be. You'll get there.
Can you pray for me too? I'm having some forgiveness issues as well. Try as I might to practice the four agreement (don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, be impeccable with your word, always do you best), I'm failing miserably this week. However, I'm proud of you and the strides you are making. It's not always easy, but it feels so good when you get to the point of letting it all go.
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