Jumping Hurdles

It seems like I have no sooner gotten one thing out of the way that something else starts looming large.

I leapt a major hurdle yesterday- the infamous and worrisome Primary Program. Just as many of you predicted, the angels were in attendance and the whole thing went off without a hitch. The kids did great, the singing was good, my counselors and secretary were in fine form to keep things going as they should, and my chorister is pretty much the best ever. I made some remarks at the end which would have gone better if so many people had not been crying. I was still in the "Funny Anecdote to Start With" and I could hear my mom choking up behind me, so I tried to find a friendly face in the audience to focus on since I am a sympathy crier (and a sympathy vomiter, so I'm excellent in a crisis.). Everywhere I looked people were crying- I started to lose it a little myself and wound up just staring into the back recesses of the church for the bulk of my talk. In case you care, here's what I said:

My sister recently gifted me with a hydration belt and the words, “It’s for when you run a half marathon with me in November.” Not one to back down from a challenge like that, particularly because it was issued by someone 10-weeks post-partum, I went ahead and registered, then called the same sister back for help with a training program. The past month has been, and the next 5 weeks will be, a series of tempo runs, which are short runs at faster than race pace, interval runs, which are medium length runs with variable speeds and terrains, and long runs, which are around 2/3 to ¾ of the length of the half marathon. It was interesting to me that the preparation for a 13 mile race does not require me to EVER run 13 miles at once before I show up on race day.

I think that the race towards our eternal, perfect families is much the same way. We are all trying to prepare for that final day, yet I think sometimes we do forget that perfection is not required in this life. In fact, Race Day, the day when perfection will be achieved, is not in this life either. What is required of us now is only the preparation. At varying times in my training, I run at race pace, I experience race terrain, I run long distances. However, I never need to do them all at once in order to be successful on race day. There are so many things we must do to be qualified for an eternal family- family prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and the list goes on and on, and it is easy to feel as if you will NEVER get it all together. I have felt that way myself more times than I can count. But, just as the runner who shows up on race day knowing that the various forms of training will pay off when it really matters, we too can have that same confidence. Perhaps there were short periods in your life where you were doing everything you needed to, then at other times you experienced peaks and valleys, and perhaps there were times where you almost did it all, but not quite. It can be enough. While the runner has race-day adrenalin motivating her, we can be motivated by knowing that the grace of our Dear Heavenly Father will fill in what we were unable to despite our diligent training.

Many a race has been ruined by comparing yourself to the guy next to you. Try not to notice the runner in a coordinating outfit and Technicolor shoes- outside appearances tell us very little about who is going to make it to the finish line. I run quite a few local road races- at one time or another I have been passed by the following: a 9 year old, an obviously pregnant woman, a brown lab, a man wearing cutoff denim shorts with a side slit, and a guy driving a jazzy. Successful runners come in all shapes and sizes. The same is true in our eternal race. It is easy for me to look wistfully during Sacrament meeting at a row of silent and obedient Davis children as mine wail at the approximate decibel level of someone who’s just lost a limb in an industrial accident merely because I failed to properly calculate the required amount of Goldfish for a 70 minute meeting. It is also easy for me to think to myself “Thank goodness MY kid isn’t acting like that,” when I notice someone else’s child having a meltdown at Walmart. Therein lays the danger in ALL comparisons: when you make one, you will either feel SMUG or SMALL. No good can come of either. Run your own race and do your best. Elder Henry B. Eyring counsels us: “We need not be overwhelmed with our feelings of inadequacy. Whoever we are, however difficult our circumstances, we can know that what our Father requires of us if we are to qualify for the blessings of eternal life will not be beyond our ability.”

We have been privileged to spend this year teaching and learning about in eternal families with many of your children. However, we see them 2 or 3 hours a week- our influence is limited. I counsel you to remember that your influence in the family far exceeds any other influence in the life of your children. We are here to support you, but we can’t run the miles for you.

When anyone asks Bruce and I how long we’ve been married, our response is usually, “Four blissful years…Nine total.” While said jokingly, it does recognize that there are ups and downs in every familial relationship. Don’t feel like the race is impossible just because you aren’t in training now- you can start today and be ready. And please remember- perfection in your results is not required- only perfection in your efforts. My former boss used to have the following plaque on her office wall: “The will to succeed is nothing without the will to prepare.” I’m not running a half marathon every day- but I do something that is preparing me for it every day. We can do the same within our families. When that great and final race day comes for us, I hope that we are able to celebrate because we have prepared ourselves for an eternity spent with our beloved families.

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

You'd think I would have been able to dial it down and relax after the program, but Kate lost a tooth the second hour of church, then I had a child pass out in the third hour. I carried him out of the primary room trying to play it cool as I sent one counselor for his parents and a teacher for a doctor (thankfully one attends), but meanwhile I was thinking, "When is this dang day going to END?" It did. Like they all do.

This week then, I just have to make it through a couple of high school choir concerts, and the daily stuff that occupies me, and then my niece and nephew are coming for the weekend, and then it's my half marathon, and then it's Thanksgiving, and then...and then...and then...and then I'll be dead.