My Talents Don't Come Cheap.

Last night I played piano at a Christmas Concert for my mom's high school choir. A few words about this choir- there are no auditions or musical requirements of any kind. Merrilee takes in everyone. Most of these kids started the semester unable to read music or sing on pitch (which is why I accompany). A concert, then, where they sing in tune and IN PARTS is a major accomplishment and they did a great job. I hope that the audience could appreciate how far these kids have come since the beginning of the year.

This is my second year playing and I have always done it on a volunteer basis. I felt reward enough knowing I was helping out my mom, and truthfully, it's a good discipline for me to be constantly learning new music. Intrinsic rewards all the way. A few days ago, however, Merrilee told me that she had scraped together a little money from the high school budget to pay me for my efforts. The amount? $75.00. I do not, as a rule, ever turn down money, particularly if I have done something to legitimately earn it. However, as soon as a figure was said, the old calculator in my brain turned on. (Jack: I blame you personally for this.). I added together the classroom hours, the hours of practice, the time at the concert, and worked out that I earned just shy of $2.00 an hour for this little side job. ( Lest you cynics out there think that perhaps I have been overpaid, I will say this: I'm a decent pianist. I am, however, an exceptional accompanist. I will play whatever you want as fast or as slow as you want to go. If you screw up, I will follow along in such a way that will make people think that you didn't screw up, or if anything, that I screwed up. I listen. If you need a little pause, I will not charge along without you. I will not overpower you. So there.)

So then, all of a sudden I felt a little cheated. Even though I had happily been doing this job for FREE for OVER A YEAR. Why is that? I'm am really grateful for the money, I'm grateful my mom would sacrifice money from her budget to pay me for something I'm willing to do for nothing. But it's almost like the money has cheapened my efforts in some way, like now because I got paid I don't get the warm glow of volunteerism or something. Maybe after I spend it all at Karma I will feel a little better.