The Brave and Cowardly Mother -or- If you are sick of reading posts about motherhood, I suggest you follow the blog of someone who is childless.

I've made no secret of the level of anxiety I have caused myself by worrying about Kate's lack of friends in her kindergarten class. For any new readers, she is not friendless by any stretch, she just didn't happen to know anyone in the class at the beginning of the year. I have tried to remind myself that while a room full of strangers would be a complete nightmare for ME, SHE has not been terrible bothered by the situation. Until lately, anyway. In the last few weeks she has really been wishing for a friend at school. I would help her pray at night, and if you want to feel like you have been simultaneously kneed in the guts and knifed in the heart, try listening to your sweet 6 year old pray, "Heavenly Father, I need a friend at school." It has been killing me.

While a part of me has wanted to do the legwork for her on this one, the "Parenting with Love and Logic" part of me (you know, the part I RARELY let out...) knows that she needs to learn how to make friends on her own. So I asked her who in the class she thought might make the best friend for her, and Kate thought a little gal named Sydnee might fit the bill (I volunteer in the class, and I will say that Sydnee is a doll.). We talked about ways that Kate could get to know Sydnee a little better, like paying her a compliment or asking her if she liked the Littlest Pet Shop. Kate is so darn shy, however, that after several days with only "aborted missions" Bruce wound up bribing her with a treat if she would talk to Sydnee.

Kate came home one day not long ago saying, "I talked to Sydnee today, so Daddy better bring me a treat." "Oh yeah?" I said, "What did you all talk about?" Kate said, "Well, I was in the library, and Sydnee came up to me, and she said, 'I really liked that book.' and I said, 'Oh.'"

It was time for me to get involved, just a little. I suggested to Kate that she write Sydnee a note inviting her to play, and Kate insisted she didn't dare, and I finally wound up just writing the darn note myself for Kate to give to her. Kate, even though she didn't have the guts to write her OWN note, did in fact possess the guts to say to me, the chief note writer, "Make sure it doesn't say anything dumb." And then Kate wouldn't even give her the note! Too afraid. I was so mixed up inside, because I really wanted her to make a friend on her own, but frankly, the nightly prayers for friendship were kicking my ass. So, I took the initiative and did some detective work and tracked down Sydnee's mom at school pick-up, knocked on the window of her van, introduced myself, handed over my note, and said I hoped the girls could play sometime.

And then I waited, and I'll tell you what, it was like when I was dating, and I would meet a guy and wait for him to call on pins and needles, only this was about TEN TIMES WORSE because my child is involved.

Today, I had a message from Sydnee's mom, inviting Kate to play. When I called back, Sydnee answered and when she called for her mom she yelled, "It's Kate's mom! It's Kate's mom!" and I can't even express how thrilled I was that this little girl is as excited to be Kate's friend as Kate is to be hers. They are playing on Thursday, and the best part of all is that Sydnee has a twin! Two friends!

Here's the thing: Let me tell you how far out of my comfort zone it is to go tracking down a woman I don't know, and giving her my number, and asking her to let our kids be friends. It's pretty far. It's something I would NEVER do on my own behalf- if I'm going to be your friend, it's probably going to take a mutual friend to build a bridge between us, or a shared activity, or something of that kind, but the chances of me walking right up to you and saying, "Hey, we should be friends," are ZERO. But for my child? I'll do it in a heartbeat.