This Post Will Require Chapters

THE GAITS OF HELL

12 days before the Moab Half-Marathon I developed the worst knee pain ever. I was so afraid that all of the miles I've run would be for nothing. I loaded up on ibuprofen and headed down to 26.2 for a gait analysis. I hopped up on the treadmill to have my stride video-taped and analyzed. Turns out I have an 8 degree pronation on the right, 3 degree pronation on the left. "Is that bad?" I asked. The salesman assured me it wasn't, and remarked, "I'll show you a picture of a bad pronation. It was this giant Polynesion guy..." and then he puts my stride up on a split screen with the "giant Polynesian guy" and let me tell you this: Who knows what the pronation problem was, because all I could think was, "My calves are the same size as that guy's." Fortunately, my knee pain was solved with some new running shoes and KT tape.

RACE PREPARATION
involves tapering and carb-loading.
However, these TV-watching Dorito-eaters weren't even running.

Liza and I picked up our race packets and had to pose by this scary puma.

We just wanted to get in tough with our inner wildcat because we knew it would make us faster.

The race gear ranks among the tackiest of all time. I happily wear my race shirts the next day (usually) but I had to make an exception. This shirt will be going directly to the bottom of my closet. Besides, fluorescent green doesn't really stand out if EVERYONE is wearing it.

Amber and Emilee made it down in time for spaghetti dinner and a thorough perusal of the race materials.

Bruce warmed up for babysitting duty the following day. The husbands were informed that they were support crew only. We will be repaying the favor at the Spudman in July.

RACE DAY

Here is the official pre-race photo. We are still smiling because we haven't frozen our cans off at the start line for 90 minutes yet.

Liza.

She's pretty fast. And no matter fast I get, she is always about a minute per mile faster.
Someday, when I am a General Authority, I'm going to turn that information into a moving and meaningful spiritual analogy.

Here I am at about mile 11. I was still feeling pretty good, and who wouldn't with legs as ripped as mine?

The official post-race photo.

Look! We all survived.

NOW I WILL OBSESS ABOUT MY RESULTS FOR A MINUTE

I have been stuck at 10 minute mile race pace for a long time. I have been getting pretty sick of it. I really wanted to break into the 9's, even if it was 9:45's or I'd even take 9:55's. This winter I did a lot of speedwork. Sprints are never fun, especially on the treadmill and especially at 5 in the morning. Liza has continued to encourage me telling me that many people are their fastest in their 30's. It could all be a big lie, but it worked.

In case you don't want to do the math, that's a 9:29 minute mile. I shaved off 31 seconds per mile and I couldn't be happier. It's a PR. I generally check in with my Forerunner quite frequently to make sure I'm not too slow, but this race every time I checked I was faster than I thought I was going to be. It was like a miracle, and I remembered all the times Liza said, "You are faster than you think you are..." and I guess she was right. No marathons for me, but I hope a sub- 2 hour half is in my future.

ARCHES NATIONAL PARK

After the race we drove into Arches for some scenery.

The Bruce and I at Balanced Rock.

The girls could not take their eyes off of the gorgeous scenery around them.

They did wake up for a quick peek at Delicate Arch.

Dave and Whitney on the way to Double Arch.

Kate and Elise

I wish I could say I was standing in a hole here, but Liza just has long legs.

Here's what the entryway looks like when you have a bunch of runners hanging out together.

TWINNY McTWINNERSONS

Liza and I alternately tease and indulge our girls in their obsession to dress like twins. However, we shouldn't tease too much, since we frequently show up wearing the same clothes, own identical kitchen tables, drive the same kind of car, and as of late, have almost the same haircut. So a whole bunch of matching shirts seemed like too much fun to pass up.

"Kiki, seriously. Quit putting the rock in front of your face."

Another note about the rock: We all knelt down in a circle to pray for safe travels. Kiki placed her special rock in the center. We, in homage to Grandpa Jack and Papa Doug, went ahead and prayed to God AND the rock. Thanks for getting us home safe, you guys.

BRUCE DISCOVERS AMERICA

You know, like Columbus, who thought he was headed one place, but wound up somewhere else entirely, but that new place was pretty awesome.

SUBTITLE: The next time Bruce tells me he know a really cool 4WD loop that will take about an hour and is the in the direction of home, I will know what he actually means is a 4 hour out and back in the opposite direction of home. Also, provisions will be required.

Bruce, it was still fun. We aren't even mad.

The Colorado River

Picnic on the Colorado

Okay, Kiki might be a LITTLE mad.

A FEW WORDS ABOUT PIT TOILETS

Kiki is fascinated by them. Elise hates them. Kiki used this one and came out and told Elise, "You are a big chicken."
Liza had had it with her kid whining about needing to pee but not bucking up about the pit toilet. She forced Elise into going, but I could hear the howling all the way back at the truck. It sounded like a murder was going down in there.

Man, we had fun.