You are a turd!
Way to pick on a grandma!
It's a parking spot!
Get over yourself!
I was mystified for a second, but I hypothesize the following:
Since I didn't cut anyone off or steal the spot from anyone, and I was well within the yellow lines on all 3 sides, I think the note came from the person who drove the car parked in front of mine. They owned a hatchback and had pulled all the way through so that when I parked I was pretty close to their back end. I figure the person had hoped to load their purchases in through the hatch and since my bumper was roughly the height of their back window I'm guessing that didn't go too well. If my hypothesis is correct, I can see how that could be extremely frustrating. However, if you are counting on loading your purchases into the back of your car, you probably shouldn't pull all the way through the parking spot so that the front of your car is facing out. Did I deserve the note? Maybe, maybe not.
I've been reading the Jon Krakauer book about Pat Tillman ("Where Men Win Glory") and it is excellent so far. So excellent in fact, that I was reading so intently at the gym the other morning that I didn't even notice that the woman in front of me had passed out and fallen off of her treadmill. Even worse, I wasn't wearing earbuds. Anyhoo, I've really been thinking a lot about something that was said in the book.
During Tillman's senior year of high school, he was involved in a brawl outside of a pizza joint. Long story short, he assumed that a bystander was involved with the confrontation and beat the living snot out of a kid who had nothing to do with the fight. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail and 250 hours of community service, and received a misdemeanor conviction so his college scholarship would not be jeopardized. The episode in the book ends with the following statement, made by a close friend of the man who had been so brutally beaten:
"At the time I didn't agree with the sentence at all. It seemed like the judge was more worried about Pat losing his scholarship than what happened to Darin...It didn't seem like justice had been served...When I heard on the radio that Pat Tillman had been killed, I remember the air being sucked out of my lungs...He was the first person I knew who had died in the war, and that war suddenly became very real to me...What I take from Pat Tillman is that you are not who you are at your worst moment."
You are not who you are at your worst moment.
I've thought lots about this the past few days. I have made a ton of mistakes in my life- big ones that hurt people, hurt myself, and jeopardized long term goals I had for myself. Although I consider myself changed in many ways now, I still look back at certain actions I took and wish I had a time machine so I could go back and stop myself. I'd be lying if I said I had totally forgiven myself for those things- I still think of the things I said and did and find them still cringe-worthy, but the simple statement above has given me permission to think that the things I DID aren't the only things that define WHO I AM.
I think back then, to the woman who was so frustrated by my accidental inconvenience to her that she actually put pen to paper to leave a terribly rude note on my car. She made huge assumptions about the kind of person that I am- that I am a jerk, that I don't think of others, that I don't like grandmas (that's actually true), that I would place the desire for a very average parking spot at Target above a stranger's feelings, and that I am an egomaniac. My first point is this: None of those things are actually true. My second point is this: How many times have I done EXACTLY what that woman did to me? I think it numbers in the millions: I have assumed someone is snobby when they are probably just shy, I assume people are bad drivers when they probably have two screaming kids in the car just like I do, I assume people are rude but they are probably just preoccupied. I could in fact, assume a lot about the kind of person who would leave a note on a stranger's car, but instead I'm going to go with, "That poor woman must have had a horrible day."
Really, the only thing I absolutely know about her is that she ate an insane amount of food only minutes before writing the note: She scrawled it on the back of a Del Taco receipt.
4 comments:
Way to be the gracious turd! I mean, I guess you can live your life thinking that the world is out to get you, but that doesn't lend itself to a very long and prosperous life. Poor woman indeed. Whatever your purported offense, I think the real issue is choosing to get offended. I have people steal my parking spot all of the time, and even recently when I could barely walk, I never got even close to telling someone they were a turd.
She must be fat.
Way to take the high road, sister. Your experience reminds me of the four agreements. Have I shared them with you before?
1) Don't take anything personally.
2) Be impeccable with your word.
3) Don't make assumptions.
4) Always do your best.
I love their simple wisdom.
p.s. I haven't heard the word turd in over a decade. Thanks for the chuckle--even if it was at your expense :). Love ya!
If you want to borrow my 80's workout gear to feel better you may. It works like a charm.
Post a Comment