There's a Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre Teen in My House

I had a glimpse into the future yesterday, and I didn't particularly care for it. Kate was a holy terror all day long. She was cranky, and irritable, and talked back. I can take a lot of crap from a kid, but sassing back just makes me CRAZY. I'm a reasonable person and a reasonable parent, so I see no reason at all why I should be taking lip from a 5 year old. So...she was on her way into yet another time out because she had told me a lie. And here's what she said, "Well. You're a liar, too!" And my blood started to boil and I said, "Yeah? Do you think so? Do you think I was lying earlier when I told you you wouldn't be watching TV for the next two days? Do you think I was lying when I said your Leapster would be disappearing for two days? And do you think I'm lying now, when I tell you that you are going to bed at 7:00 tonight?" Not a proud moment for me for a couple of reasons: First, because I still felt strangely satisfied that she went silent after that exchange. Second, because I know that I reacted in the wrong way. When will I learn?

The whole day I was thinking, 'Is this what it's going to be like when she's a teenager?' I hope not, because I can't take it. I was so worked up that I was needing an emotional crutch of some kind. I was seriously contemplating, 'What can I buy, eat, drink, or snort that will make me feel better right now?'

I was chatting with a friend of mine last night- she has teenagers, and recently had to lay down the law on dating and relationships. I hope I can be as straightforward as she was. I do know this: Kate will be receiving a full debriefing after every date, and not a Bristol Palin/Greta Van Susteren type "interview," but instead a "Guantanamo" interrogation- one that's going to involve a lie detector and one way glass. Obviously, Bruce is going to have to play the "good cop" since I'm already scheming and her first date is 11 years away. Or maybe not, since he's the one who plans on "cleaning his gun" every time a guy comes to pick her up. I pray that I'm equipped for this.

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I just had a heart-stopper. Kiki loves to eat snow, and I just caught her with a handful of the yellow variety. I did figure out that it was residual marker on her hand that was staining the snow- at least that's what I've chosen to believe.