Sizing Things Up

Shopping for clothes in an Asian country is giving me a serious complex.  It all started when I realized I left my favorite boot cut jeans at home inadvertently.  I wasn't too alarmed at first, and began a hunt at Market Market for some basic blue jeans.  Apparently though, this is a country that only allows retail sales of skinny jeans.  I finally figured out that there was a Gap at High Street, and thought for sure that Gap would be my lucky break.  (Frankly, I haven't considered shopping at Gap a "lucky break" since the "Do you want socks with that?" heyday of 1992, but I was getting desperate.)  Gap did indeed have a basic boot cut jean, but the wheels came off when I tried to get an inseam long enough.  I asked the salesgirl if the jeans came in longs, and she handed me a pair of 4R's and said that they were longs.  I nicely insisted that "R" stood for "Regular" and did she have any "L"?  "No, Ma'am," she insisted right back.  "'A' means 'Regular' and 'R' means 'Long.'"  I thought, "Yeah, sure, if you are Asian.  Which I AM NOT."  Seriously.  A=Ankle.  R=Regular.  L=Long.  I would like to go back to that Gap and hold a seminar of some kind.  (P.S.  My sister sent me my pants so the crisis has been averted, although not cheaply.)

Bruce, on his part, has found that the only place to find clothes in his size are Big and Tall departments.  He has to buy XXXL's, and the brand name is "Ultimo!"  I'm pretty sure that translates to "Fat Guy," even though he isn't.  We both already feel like giants in this country, and now the purchase of clothing is just adding insult to injury. 

So it is a temporary farewell to 4's and 6's and smalls or mediums.  In this country, I have resigned myself to being large and in charge.  I know a label shouldn't give me a complex when I'm still the same size as I was at home, but it kind of is making me a little sensitive. 

I thought I was okay with this, until I was purchasing a T-shirt the other day.  It was a blousy one, so I actually went with a medium.  At the cash register, the cashier not only tried to talk me out of purchasing my medium, she actually said, "Ma'am, I have the same shirt in men's sizing."  I'd like to push that miniature woman down some teeny tiny stairs.

P.S.  I have say one thing about Kiki.  We were at the bank waiting for Bruce, and she and Kate were wandering around a bit.  Kiki came up to me and said, "That lady tried to tell me something."  She was pointing towards a bank employee, and so I said, "Well, were you polite?"  She replied, "Yes.  I POLITELY walked right past her."