Evidence: Today I was in a public place, thinking to myself, "Man, they sure play some great music here." Where was I, you ask? The doctor's office.
FACT NUMBER TWO: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A SERVING SIZE IS.
Evidence: Thanks to Dave and Jill, I have a new food scale. I shouldn't fan the flames of my OCD, but it's too late and the damage is done. This entry could also be subtitled: I FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THE METRIC SYSTEM. Pictured below is a serving of Junior Mints. Who eats just 16 Junior Mints?
I love the yogurt pretzels from Nutty Guys. They are a little slice of heaven. The package says a serving is 15 grams. I'm not completely stupid, but I did figure it was maybe 10 or 12 pretzels per serving. Seemed reasonable to me. Thanks to the food scale, however, I now know that a "serving" of yogurt pretzels is this:
For reals. THREE PRETZELS. It's actually not quite three pretzels. I had to combine parts of two broken ones to get it to come out to 15 grams exactly. I just HAD to know, didn't I? Now, I can no longer live in ignorance or pretzel-induced bliss. FACT NUMBER THREE: MY KID IS TERRIBLY, HORRIBLY SPOILED.
Evidence: Today, as Kate was having a come-apart because I wouldn't buy her something from the ice cream man, Bruce called to see if we could go to the circus on Thursday. I listened to his request, and then I listened to her ear-splitting screams because of my total failure as a mother to anticipate her need for an overpriced strawberry cone, and I said to Bruce, "I don't feel like taking her anywhere." And he said, "I'll get the tickets then."
FACT NUMBER FOUR: I'M A SPIRITUAL MIDGET.
Evidence: I asked Bruce to give the family home evening lesson tonight, and the source I compelled him to use was a Spongebob Squarepants book. No scriptures necessary here.
7 comments:
Dang serving sizes! Never look at the back of an oreo package.
Holy heavens. I'm not sure I want a scale now!!! Hey, but if the pretzels make you feel good and you've been eating the amount you have been eating in the past and you still look FABULOUS so I would just forget the amount of that serving size!!!!!
Crap!! I guess I need one of those....
I have been looking for a new food scale for a long time... that one is very cool. I realized how old I am yesterday. I was delivering a package to the sophomore daughter of Tyler's company VP at the university that Tyler brought from corporate. She is 14 years younger than me!!!
Old...have you ever been in a room full of teachers (whom you are teaching) and have one of them say, "Hey, didn't you babysit me when I was like three years old?" Um, yup. That was my literal response.
And, FHE...last night the most successful thing we talked about was "head, shoulders, knees and toes." Oh, and Jack prayed for "The Big Guy"--we aren't sure what he was even talking about and his new markers.
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't know any more about Nutty Guys serving sizes. Or any other serving sizes.
Also: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are NOT old. You have not a wrinkle to be seen. You are totally hot.
oh my goodness. i need one of those scales. speaking of being old. this random young young young (my repeat of the word is not a typo) man told me i was a good looking lady at the airport the other day. i was so shocked i didn't have a come back. now that i can think rationally, i'd like to say two things to him:
1) never call a woman a lady, especially if you are trying to pick up on her
2) i really could be your mother--especially if i got pregnant in high school.
it's scary to think i am at that age now.
keep the posts comin'. you crack me up!
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