Bruce is a Haunted Man

He lays awake at night thinking about ways that our house might flood. One can hardly blame him- 4 floods in 6 years with 4 totally different causes can do that to a person. On Father's Day he was telling Jack about all the precautions he's taken to prevent future floods. Of course Jack artfully assuaged Bruce's nerves by saying, "Well, it'll all be for nothing if your neighbors ever blow a sprinkler. They're a whole bunch higher than you, so all THEIR water will come running to YOU." The man went white as a sheet. He's cleaned all the gutters, he's had pipes moved, he's fixed drainage problems, he's done sprinkler work. Yet he can never, ever rest. His mind constantly envisions scenarios in which we will find our basement full of water again. He speaks seriously about moving. I argue that a new house is no guarantee that an idiot didn't do the plumbing. What will be our solution? I don't know.

On the other side of the water debate are our daughters- they LOVE IT. The girls have been enjoying their swim lessons at PG Pool. Kate has learned to float on her back and paddle her arms. Kiki and I joined a parent/tot class. On the first day, the instructor carefully explained that we should have a 3 word cue to our child to let them know that they would be entering the water, something like "One, Two, Three," or "In You Go." Janet, who knows Kiki's fearlessness about the water, teased, "Is your phrase, 'Where'd Kiki Go?'" I countered, "I was thinking it would be, 'What The Heck?'"

We've had Charlie and Elise with us this week to give Liza a little time with her new baby. I'm a slacker, because I had them 6 days and took no pictures. Bad Aunt. We did do a lot of fun things. We went swimming, we went to the River Park, we went to McDonald's, and the kids played and played. They all got along really well, which was quite nice. I tried to be a nice and patient aunt, but I will admit I was a little amazed at how hard is to keep up with the messes that 4 kids can make. I kept it together okay- I had one come apart when I found that the girls had found some Listerine Agent Blue that I had tried to hide (Warning: Do not ever buy Listerine Agent Blue. It is terrible- it stained my grout and makes the biggest mess. I rue the day I ever bought it. Which is why it was hidden.), and all 4 kids rinsed and spit, and my bathroom counter, sink, and mirror were covered with blue stains. Then, they used an ENTIRE tube of toothpaste to brush their teeth ONCE. Inside I was thinking, "Be cool, some of these kids aren't even yours," but then another part of me was thinking, "Kill! Kill!" The actual result was somewhere in the middle. I wasn't cool, but I didn't kill.

Elise and Kate enjoyed the Wii. They misunderstood when Bruce told them about the "nunchuks." They said, "Gimme that nut-chucker." Other words from Elise: She left Kate a note that read, "Dear Kate, I rile like to be fance with you."

Kate lost a tooth this morning. There's been a minor tragedy in that she's misplaced it already- she thinks it's under her bed. Unfortunately, the remnants of a bag of White Cheddar Cheez-its are also under her bed. I think you can see my conundrum. I searched valiantly, yet every time I thought I had finally located the tooth, I'd grab it eagerly only to have it crumble in my hands. Bruce is currently composing a note that says, "I found your tooth- you sure hid it good this time! Love, the Tooth Fairy."

Lastly, here's how we know we've been under construction for TOO LONG. Kiki woke up yesterday morning, went straight to the front window, looked outside, and said, "Where Rick?" Rick is our excavator. She talks about him all the time. "Rick mustache." "Rick hat." Rick does have a mustache and a cowboy hat, and she's a little mad that Rick wouldn't let her drive the Cat.