Hasn't every mother said or done the following things?:
Sniffed a mouth and said, "Go brush your teeth."
Screamed, "Get in here and flush the toilet!!"
Checked a dirty diaper to see if that was actually a piece of string your kid ate.
All detective behaviors.
A typical scenario: I walk in the door. This perpetrator, whoever it is, has consumed a turkey sandwich with cheese, mayo, and lettuce without the need for a plate. Based on the clues, he/she is shoeless and shirtless within 20 feet of the back door. I follow the evidence down the hall to the bathroom. I radio dispatch. "I called in a 10-2," I say, "but this is actually a 10-1. Both seats are up." The trail leads to the bedroom. Definitely a scene of a crime- looks like the clothing change was completed here. Hamper is still closed and empty. I hear muffled voices coming from somewhere- I follow my ears to find three full-bellied, half dressed criminals crashed out in front of the TV. "It's like you have ESP," Bruce says. "You know every move we made since you left." It's not ESP, I'm just following the many and varied pieces of evidence.
The one thing that never changes? The victim. She is always a 34 year old white female.
3 comments:
I love the look on their faces when they can't fathom how you figured it out. They should get that look if you couldn't figure it out from all of the blaring clues.
move over david caruso, here comes becca hatch. mom's always make the best detectives. btw, thanks so much for your sweet card and my g-ma's clipping. i didn't have a hard copy. your thoughtfulness means a lot!
Ummm, yeah. Our hubbies and children, like unwise or unseasoned criminals think they'll never get caught. Oh, they should know by now that our motherhood prowess gives us the advantage every time.
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