What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Bruce's family made it into town on Saturday for a little respite from the hot Phoenix summer. Mom and Dad flew up with the babies, while Christy and Cheryl made the drive with the other five kids. It was a great drive- twelve hours of desolate views, Spongebob Squarepants, and vomiting. I don't know if they are having that great of a time here, but they sure as heck don't want to make the drive back home...

Kiki rolls in the pool and the sand. I see a future of getting wet and sandy with the Navy Seals since she liked it so much.

Lani gets friendly with Powder.

Lani gets a sand shower courtesy of Kiki.

Sophie deep in thought in the playhouse.

So far, everyone is still having fun and there haven't been any major blow ups. Hopefully we can keep it that way!!

Household Haiku

I need a creative outlet for these feelings.

Oh soap scum you are
no match for my favorite
Magic Eraser.

Five o'clock again?
I have no ideas. Please make
Your own damn dinner.

Kiki could you please
Not eat dryer lint, toothpaste,
Red wine vinegar?

The dog is hairy.
The carpet is hairy too.
Vacuum don't give up.

I wake up early
To go to Gold's Gym and run.
Still have belly fat.

Please comment in the form of your own haikus. 5,7,5 in case you don't remember.

A Mild Case of Paranoia

I love a good anecdote. Even before my blogging days, I would share my Kate stories with anyone who would listen. Or pretend to listen. All this communication has now made Kate a little paranoid. At the end of even the most inane conversations (what she wants for breakfast, what she's wearing, should we swim today) her final word is always, "Don't tell anybody I said that, okay?"

No Knead Bread

For all of you who are scared of making bread, here is a recipe you must try. No mixer needed, and no kneading required. It is no work at all, and when you are done, you will have a crusty, rustic, and soft-in-the middle loaf of homemade bread!

No Knead Bread (Jim Lahey, Sullivan Street Bakery)

3 cups flour (any combination of white, wheat, oat, whatever you want)
1/4 tsp instant yeast
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 5/8 cup water
Cornmeal as needed

1. In a large bowl combine flour, yeast, and salt. Add water and stir until blended- dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at room temperature.
2. Dough is ready when surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it, sprinkle with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.
3. Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton (not terry cloth) towel with flour or cornmeal. Put dough seam side down on towel and dust with more flour or cornmeal. Cover with a cotton towel and let rise for two hours, until double in size.
4. At least a half hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6 to 8 quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, pyrex, or ceramic) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Slide your hand under the towel and turn dough over into pot, seam side up. It may look like a mess, but that is o.k. Shake pan once or twice if dough is uneven, it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 minutes until loaf is browned. Cool on a rack.

So this takes a little time, but your hands on time is 10 minutes max. Give it a try, why don't you?

Gnocchi and Fishies

I went to the best cooking class on Thursday night. An Italian lady in the neighborhood taught us how to make homemade pastas, sauces, and (Bruce's favorite) gnocchi. I love Italian food, so it goes without saying that I ate too much! I came home totally motivated to try some new recipes. I attempted the gnocchi yesterday- they weren't perfect, but I think I can get them there. Bruce ate them and said they were tasty, but he generally says that. I have to cook something pretty crappy for him to say he doesn't like it. I like to cook, so it's going to be a lot of fun.

The girls and I have been swimming quite a bit. They love the water. Kiki is absolutely unafraid. She will stick her face under and loves to jump off the side. I tried to put her in a floaty tube, and she found it aggravating because she thinks she can swim. Kate will hold her breath for 16 counts and we are working on jumping in and letting her feet touch the bottom and springing back up. She is a little scared but gets her courage up and then goes for it! Grandpa Jack is confident that their love of the water didn't come from any Barratt. I can vouch for that. I don't think my dad has owned a swimsuit ever in his adult life. When we would go to Bear Lake, he would just wear his oldest jeans and cut the legs off with a pocket knife upon our arrival. Voila! Swimwear.

City of Fun(gus)

For as long as I can remember, the City of Fun Carnival has been a staple at all of the local festivals. Attending was a Barratt family tradition when we were growing up. Nostalgia aside, the City of Fun Carnival is a dirty and seedy place. The carnival was the first place I puked after riding a ride, the first place I ever saw joints, and the first place where I felt dirty simply because I showed up. To clarify on the joints, they weren't offered to me by some carnival attendee, but were openly displayed in a neat row on top of the switch box for the roller coaster. Any kid in line got an eyeful. At any rate, Bruce and I decided this would be a great night out for the family. And, through the eyes of a child, it was. I hope my girls remember the carnival at least somewhat fondly...

Riding the motorcycles. There is a very similar picture of the Barratt kids somewhere in Jack's archives.

Leaning back Harley style.

The Merry go Round was considered lame by all parties.

Later, when Kate refused to ride the spaceship, I climbed on in for a ride with Kiki. No humiliation there.

Down the big slide. This one was Kate's favorite.

We ended the outing with a bag of $4 cotton candy. I wished for a corn dog, but my OCD wouldn't let me.

Conversation Sampler (Actual Transcripts)

Kate: Mommy, let me paint your nails.
Me: No.
Kate: Please, please, please!
Me: No.
Kate: But I'm a scientist and I will do a really good job.


Bruce to Kate: Go ask Mommy to get me a pair of shorts.
Kate: Daddy needs a pair of shorts.
Becca: Tell Daddy I am changing Kiki and I can't.
Kate to Bruce: GET YOUR OWN SHORTS!


Kate: Kiki said she didn't like me.
Me: I highly doubt that Kiki said that, since Kiki says about four words, and none of them are "I" "Don't" "Like" or "You."
Kiki turns to Kate and blows a big raspberry.


Kate: I get really afraid at night.
Me: When you get scared, you should look at your picture of Jesus and then you won't feel so afraid.
Kate: But I want someone in my room with me.
Me: Jesus is in your room with you.
Kate: I want somebody REAL.


Becca: You got a letter from the bishop and I need your permission to open it.
Bruce: I am at work. Can't this wait until later?
Becca: I am dying of curiosity here. Are you being excommunicated?
Bruce: Just open it.
(sounds of shredding paper and heavy breathing)
Becca: Dang it. It's just a thank you note for the talk you gave on Mother's Day. What a disappointment. Not even a church court summons or anything.
Bruce: You're sick.

The Winds of Change

As many of you know, Bruce is in the midst of a career transition. He is leaving the relative security of his everyday job and going out on his own. It is a very exciting and scary time, but both of us feel like it is the right thing to do. He and I are planners, so we have been doing our best to prepare for the eventual reality that he would be leaving his job. Bruce had "the talk" with his boss a couple of days ago. The clock begins to count down...only a few more paychecks, only a month of group health insurance, the day is fast arriving when we are absolutely on our own. It's a scary feeling, because Bruce and I have been accustomed to being financially secure. We have certainly worried, just like anyone, but we haven't wondered if the bills are going to get paid or if we were going to have somewhere to live. Now, with our days of regular paychecks soon behind us, we must tighten our belts since we will be living off our savings for a while.

REASONS I AM SCARED TO BE POOR
1. I don't care for Ramen Noodles.
2. I am a grocery snob. I like organic milk, Havarti cheese, and carrots that are peeled already.
3. I believe premium jeans are worth every penny.
4. What if I really, really need something frivolous?
5. I didn't buy all this food storage to ACTUALLY EAT IT.
6. What if I have to turn off the A/C sometimes? I get very cranky when I'm hot.
7. What if Taco Amigo isn't in the budget anymore?
8. What if the Target/Walmart debate becomes a moot point because I can only afford Walmart?
9. What if I am not as funny when I'm broke?

When I write all that stuff down, I realize I have been spoiled, spoiled, SPOILED. There are so many people in this country who are truly poor. They wonder where they will live and what they will eat, and a doctor's visit can be a serious financial setback. I am have none of those issues. The fact is, while it sucks to have to spend our savings, we are truly blessed that we have been able to accrue it. I am trying to be unafraid and not so faithless.

Maybe I am Wonder Woman!!!

I had a very productive morning, one of those that makes you feel like you are Wonder Woman! I was up early to meet my gym friend, and by 9:15 I had worked out, shoveled a bunch of mulch into the yard, and had four loaves of homemade wheat bread rising as I made myself a healthy fruit smoothy.

However, it is almost 11, and reality is setting in. I stink and my house is a disaster. I better shower before I lose all motivation to do so. I guess I can't be a superhero for more than a few hours at a time.

Also, I unloaded the dishwasher, and I noticed that despite the dishwasher being packed to the hilt, there were exactly 6 (SIX) pieces of flatware in the tray. What did we eat that resulted in such an off kilter proportion? Whatever we ate, we apparently stood around the counter and consumed it like a pack of wolves.

Kiki has added a couple of words to her very VERY expansive vocabulary. To "Mama"and "bath" she has added "Hot" and "Brrr". I guess it's time to stop playing "An Inconvenient Truth" in the nursery.

Happy Father's Day

Bruce is a great dad! Yesterday we went to the canyon with John, Lindsay, & Preston, and George and Merrilee. We had a delicious picnic and enjoyed the nice weather. It was a fun and relaxing way to celebrate.
Here we are. Bruce does love a candid photo, so unfortunately all of the other pictures turned out horrendous! Maybe by next Father's Day, Bruce will finally agree that no one takes a good picture when they are speaking or eating.

He is a great dad and we love him a lot!

Weekend Adventures

Maggie loves the water! We had boat races at our local park, and Kiki would not be deterred by water that was a glacier just yesterday. She played until she was soaked and her lips were blue. It was a full blown wrestling match just to get her to the car. The final round was won by Bruce, and resulted in a totally nude Maggie sobbing in defeat the whole way home.

Kate came in second place in the boat race, which was somewhat shocking. I had kind of spaced the whole "boat race" thing, instead mentally focusing on the "Church sponsored picnic free food" end of things. She entered a flip flop at the last second, and victory was hers.

Bruce and I have the greatest neighbors. Their names are Chris and Anne. Here are his arms. Aren't they nice looking? Just kidding. He was mowing the lawn and found a snake. My thoughts would have been either "Run like hell!" or "Hit it with the mower!" and his were, "I'll catch it and show it to Kate." That alone gets him the neighbor of the year award. Kate was unsure at first, but with a little coaxing, she became quite the snake handler. Kiki backed away so fast she wound up on her rear in a pile of grass clippings. I was not far behind her.

Extreme Makeover Hatch Edition: The Next Episode

At the beginning of the new year, I decided I was not going to make any resolutions, but that I would have a theme instead. This year's theme has been "Unfinished Business." There have been things about my home that I have wanted to change for years, but just never seemed to get around to, and I decided that this was the year for that to happen. So with the help of several others, I've been crossing these things off my list. The last two jobs were the office and the other guest room, and here's the results!

BEFORE You may be thinking, "There is no way that this is what her office looked like." I can tell you that this is a completely accurate portrayal of it. No wonder it was making me crazy.

This is the bookcase that Lindsay helped me with, and we got rid of one of the two desks. Now I have a fun room divider and all my books are where I can get to them.

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!"

Behind the bookcase, chaos still reigns, but at least it is hidden. Notice that my original Brooke Olsen Lambert is finally hung. Hello, Rebecca Eating Soup!

Guest Bedroom 2. There's actually two beds just like this one, but I hate to be redundant, and don't have a wide angle lens.

I am almost afraid to say it, but I think my house might be "done." Of course, my storage room could use some work...

I hope you've eaten breakfast already, because I am going to make you SICK!

Lindsay is the kind of person who is up for anything. I swear, you could call her and say, "I'm having a colonoscopy today and she would say, "Do you need me to watch your kids, or would you like me to spread your cheeks apart?" She is the person who has helped me redecorate, watched my kids more times than I can count, and who has told me to stop wearing certain jeans. It shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone that she called yesterday and said, "How about we put the bookcase together that you bought?" Bruce and I had been to Ikea, and we all knew he did not have time for this little project. She grabbed lunch. Kiki ordered 80 fry sauces with fries and a quesadilla on the side. Here she enjoys the fry sauce.

She sucks the containers and licks them until they are perfectly clean.

After lunch we started on the office re-do. Pictures will follow as soon as I tie up a few loose ends. We are consolidating from two desks to one, so Lindsay and I had to slide a big giant desk out of the way so we could put the bookcase where it needed to be. During the sliding, a computer tower tipped over and landed right on my foot. I said a very VERY bad word.

I know that some of you are secretly disappointed that I never managed to post a picture of my furminator injury, so hopefully this makes up for it.

SICK!!

I showed it to Merrilee last night and she gagged and thrashed about because she was so disgusted. Don't remark on my lack of pedicure, because I still have the puncture wounds showing on my foot, (the SAME foot, all the luck) and am taking no chances. I didn't even bother to seek medical care since I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the last time.

Hopefully you can get your appetites back after witnessing such an injury and a kid eating straight fry sauce.

Guess Who Else Has OCD? or... Rednecks Also Come From Phoenix

The cousin bloggers have had a few universal topics on our minds the past few days. First, I have hard evidence that the OCD is genetic. Unfortunately, said evidence comes from the mouth of my own sweet Kate. "Mommy, use this hand sanitizer. It kills 90 percent germs." The legacy continues.

On the topic of redneck behaviors: THIS is my outside garden hose.

For the record, this is newly installed and was put there to "fix" the old one. Bruce is going to kill me when he reads this, but I guess you don't have to be Morgan born and bred to be a redneck. He will assert, of course, that he was NEVER a red neck until he moved here.

This is the wedding bouquet I did this weekend. It was tiger lilies, salmon and green roses, black feathers, and pearls. Sounds crazy! But I think it turned out pretty, and the bride said it was exactly what she had in mind. I don't know if it is my taste, but it was fun to do wedding flowers that weren't hot pink gerber daisies. Nothing against the daisies, it's just that my portfolio is full of almost identical bouquets, so having a little variety was fun. The bouts were very cool though- salmon colored roses with two skinny black feathers coming out of the center.

Merrilee and I took the girls to visit Grandma Go-go this weekend. Kate was so excited to see her, and actually smiled for a couple of pictures!

We are growing out Kate's bangs, so no judgement please about my shaggy looking kid.

Uncle Bill was on Grandma's "s" list, because he had taken a picture of Grandma with wet hair on her new phone and turned it into her wallpaper. Grandma was furious because she couldn't even get to a menu so that she could delete the picture, and every time she opened her phone, there was the wet hair pic. Kate and I saved the day by erasing the wet hair picture and replacing it with one of her and Go-go. Sorry Bill, to foil your plans. It was a fun afternoon and even Maggie was moderately well behaved.

Bruce comes home in just a few hours. We are all excited. Kate has been asking for days if it was Sunday yet. It will be nice having him back home again.

Hi, My name is Hilary Swank

This is an obscure pop culture reference to the year Hilary Swank won an Oscar and forgot to thank her husband. Bruce felt a little sad that he didn't even get a mention when I was blogging about all of the awesome things in my life. Let me clarify: MARRYING BRUCE HATCH IS THE SMARTEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE. Now, let me justify: I was talking about all the blessings that I noticed over the weekend, and since Bruce has been out of town for what seems like forever, that's why he wasn't mentioned. Let there be no mistake that he is the most important person in my life. Now that the mea culpa is over, let's get on to other matters...

Mel, I laughed and laughed about our OCD. Here is the latest. We had a ceiling leak, so today I thought, 'I'll just slap some white paint on that patch and be done with it.' Well, once I got some fresh white paint on the ceiling, I was cursing inside, because the guest room is OBVIOUSLY NOT WHITE ANYMORE. The walls and doors looked so dingy!!! Of course I made a trip to Walmart for a drop cloth and another gallon of paint. I don't know if a single gallon is going to do it, because I am almost through it and still need to do my second coat and the touch up. My friend Anne came over, and I explained why I was painting the guest room, and she said, "Let me look at your eyes because I think you are high."

I bought some delicious sounding crackers at Walmart- they were rosemary and olive oil. I opened the bag and realized that they were waaaaaay too "flavorful" for me. I ate one and had to go brush my teeth. Kiki had one, and she thought they were the most delicious she had ever eaten in her life. I kept trying to take them away, and she was very angry. She stunk so terribly- between the smell on her breath and the crumbs on her clothes. She reeked, seriously. We ate them before bed last night, and even though I scrubbed her teeth, when I went in her room this morning, the air was thick with the smell of rosemary. Needless to say, the crackers mysteriously disappeared today.

Do not even look at the time on this post- I am suffering from some insomnia tonight. I let Kate sleep in my bed with me since Bruce is out of town (just tonight, don't freak out, Bruce- you haven't been replaced), and I woke up with her feet in my face. I also have some wedding flowers to do this morning, and that always gets me a little stressed. I definitely feel the pressure of wanting to give the bride exactly what she wants. The girl who is getting married tomorrow is her own person and doesn't want flowers like anything she has ever seen before. It's fun for me to do something different, but there is a part of me that prays that I can pull it off and make her bouquet not ugly. It is hard to explain what it is going to look like without it sounding ugly, so I guess I will have to post some pics later today.

Lastly, my piano lessons started. I explained to Kate that she had to be nice, because I had piano lessons that morning, and she said, "You're learning piano??" Apparently the hours I've spent at the piano practicing have not appeared on her radar, and when I explained that I was going to be doing the teaching, she gave me a look like she thought I was barely qualified. They seemed to be a success, and I have picked up another student this week. My sitter couldn't come on Tuesday morning, and I thought, 'No biggie, maybe I'll find out that my kids will be good without Paige.' That was deluding myself. I believe one of my students summed it up when she said, "I can't play louder than your baby is screaming."

Congrats to Suz, Miner, Sierra and the new addition! We are so happy for you. (And shocked that she is over 9 lbs- way to go!)

Some Pictures of this Weekend

Becca, Liza, Merrilee, Amber, and Emily at the Idaho Falls Temple.

The happy couple- Bronco and Jody.

Kate loves her Uncle Chance. However, she is in this phase where she hates having her picture taken, and no amount of convincing could get her to smile at the camera. Later she said to me, "You know what Chance said about me? He said, 'This is my ex-girlfriend.'" She laughed and laughed thinking it was HILARIOUS that anyone would think she was his ex-girlfriend.

Kiki playing at the park with her ever-present bag of Cheez-its.

A rainbow outside of Idaho Falls. Taken through a car window, but the girls were so happy to see it. All us girls...

I am a bad friend, because I went to Brooke's baby blessing (Welcome, Finn!) and did not take a single picture of the new arrival. Rest assured, he is perfect and beautiful. Also rest assured that my kids were the naughtiest ones in church. Kate said, "This is a weird church." It was an older one with a different floor plan, so I explained that churches came in all shapes and sizes, and it some places of the world, church was in a single room with a dirt floor and no chairs, but the Spirit could be felt anywhere. Kate replied, "This is still a weird church."

I Think I Have a Theme (Song)

Did any of you ever watch Ally McBeal? If not, find it on DVD somewhere, because it was hilarious. Anyway, there was a set of episodes where Ally is seeking therapy, and her therapist (played marvelously by Tracey Ullman) insists to Ally that you can go NOWHERE in life unless you have selected your own personal theme song.

On that note, I think sometimes certain times in our lives have themes. You look back and realize that for a few days or a few moments you were internalizing and learning a lot about something. I can tell you exactly the time I learned tons about patience. I know almost to the day I knew I had to quit dating losers (I was significantly older than I should have been to learn such an important one). I can pinpoint to the moment a lesson learned about tithing. Sometimes we are lucky enough to see the "theme" right when we are in the thick of it, and I had the good fortune of that over this past weekend.

You all know that I have been struggling a little lately, having a time where it has seemed as if I have just been taking one hit after another. This weekend I was able to get away with the girls to attend some family events. My step-brother got married on Friday, I had a cousin get married on Saturday, and a dear friend had her baby blessed Sunday. They were all in Idaho or Logan, and so I was also able to stay with Liza a few days, and visit Rose for an evening. When we left on Thursday, I asked Kate to say a prayer, and she said, "Heavenly Father, bless us to travel safe and be kind and helpful. Amen." I think that is about the perfect Travel Prayer, especially for anyone who has kids.

The drive to Pocatello was so beautiful. The instant I passed Tremonton, the scenery became so lush and green. The girls behaved themselves, and frankly that is always amazing, especially where Maggie is concerned. As my trip unfolded, I started to think about all of the awesome things I have in my life. And there you have the theme. I have been so ungrateful and so short-sighted. I have been complaining and worrying, and this weekend I came to realize that my Heavenly Father has blessed me in a way that is bountiful and plentiful, and I needed to open my eyes. Everywhere I looked this weekend was additional evidence of His loving kindness to me. To spend time with my sister was amazing. She is awesome and a total support to me. I was privileged to attend the temple wedding of Bronco and Jody, and it was such a happy time to be a witness to a great couple starting their married life together. I was able to bond with George's kids- to call them my "step" siblings really doesn't feel like I am doing justice to the relationship, because they have opened their arms wide to my mom and my family. I was blessed to have some sweet, sweet moments of bonding and joy with my own good girls. I saw beautiful scenery, spent time with people I love, and all in all was reminded that the good works of the Lord are obvious to those who have the good sense to open their eyes and LOOK.

So I have the theme, I just need the song! Don't suggest "Count Your Many Blessings" because I really don't care for that one. And let me say- to all of you who have worried, prayed, and supported me lately, I have felt your love and I thank you. And now I have to stop this train of thought because my crying is starting to worry Kate. Tears of joy, though.

P.S. I have some pics of this weekend that I will post as soon as I sort out some technical problems.