Kate: "Daddy! I made a bunny and he is HAPPY!"

Bruce: "Yes. Yes he is."

A Word About The Sisters

When my mom and George married, we were also blessed with a new sister, 3 new brothers, and 2 (soon to be 3) sisters-in-law. If you acquire step-siblings in childhood, the adults in your life are pretty much going to force you to bond. However, if the same happens in adulthood, only you can decide to forge a relationship. It's not always easy- especially when all the people involved are 30 or so years old with busy lives, and these things don't happen overnight. So I was thrilled when Amber and Emilee were up for running the Moab Half with Liza and I, because it was our first Barratt/Hunter get-together without parental edict. The sisters rock. We had so much fun, and while we didn't share the past 3 decades, there's happiness and hope in that we will be sharing the NEXT 3 decades.

When we registered for the race, we had to have a team name, and we wanted it to represent our blended family- so we are The Bear-Hunters.

The Bar-Hunters was nixed for reasons that I think are obvious.

One more thing: The girls had a great time "digging" this past weekend. Kiki continued to amuse, although it did take some coaxing once the camera was on her.

This Post Will Require Chapters

THE GAITS OF HELL

12 days before the Moab Half-Marathon I developed the worst knee pain ever. I was so afraid that all of the miles I've run would be for nothing. I loaded up on ibuprofen and headed down to 26.2 for a gait analysis. I hopped up on the treadmill to have my stride video-taped and analyzed. Turns out I have an 8 degree pronation on the right, 3 degree pronation on the left. "Is that bad?" I asked. The salesman assured me it wasn't, and remarked, "I'll show you a picture of a bad pronation. It was this giant Polynesion guy..." and then he puts my stride up on a split screen with the "giant Polynesian guy" and let me tell you this: Who knows what the pronation problem was, because all I could think was, "My calves are the same size as that guy's." Fortunately, my knee pain was solved with some new running shoes and KT tape.

RACE PREPARATION
involves tapering and carb-loading.
However, these TV-watching Dorito-eaters weren't even running.

Liza and I picked up our race packets and had to pose by this scary puma.

We just wanted to get in tough with our inner wildcat because we knew it would make us faster.

The race gear ranks among the tackiest of all time. I happily wear my race shirts the next day (usually) but I had to make an exception. This shirt will be going directly to the bottom of my closet. Besides, fluorescent green doesn't really stand out if EVERYONE is wearing it.

Amber and Emilee made it down in time for spaghetti dinner and a thorough perusal of the race materials.

Bruce warmed up for babysitting duty the following day. The husbands were informed that they were support crew only. We will be repaying the favor at the Spudman in July.

RACE DAY

Here is the official pre-race photo. We are still smiling because we haven't frozen our cans off at the start line for 90 minutes yet.

Liza.

She's pretty fast. And no matter fast I get, she is always about a minute per mile faster.
Someday, when I am a General Authority, I'm going to turn that information into a moving and meaningful spiritual analogy.

Here I am at about mile 11. I was still feeling pretty good, and who wouldn't with legs as ripped as mine?

The official post-race photo.

Look! We all survived.

NOW I WILL OBSESS ABOUT MY RESULTS FOR A MINUTE

I have been stuck at 10 minute mile race pace for a long time. I have been getting pretty sick of it. I really wanted to break into the 9's, even if it was 9:45's or I'd even take 9:55's. This winter I did a lot of speedwork. Sprints are never fun, especially on the treadmill and especially at 5 in the morning. Liza has continued to encourage me telling me that many people are their fastest in their 30's. It could all be a big lie, but it worked.

In case you don't want to do the math, that's a 9:29 minute mile. I shaved off 31 seconds per mile and I couldn't be happier. It's a PR. I generally check in with my Forerunner quite frequently to make sure I'm not too slow, but this race every time I checked I was faster than I thought I was going to be. It was like a miracle, and I remembered all the times Liza said, "You are faster than you think you are..." and I guess she was right. No marathons for me, but I hope a sub- 2 hour half is in my future.

ARCHES NATIONAL PARK

After the race we drove into Arches for some scenery.

The Bruce and I at Balanced Rock.

The girls could not take their eyes off of the gorgeous scenery around them.

They did wake up for a quick peek at Delicate Arch.

Dave and Whitney on the way to Double Arch.

Kate and Elise

I wish I could say I was standing in a hole here, but Liza just has long legs.

Here's what the entryway looks like when you have a bunch of runners hanging out together.

TWINNY McTWINNERSONS

Liza and I alternately tease and indulge our girls in their obsession to dress like twins. However, we shouldn't tease too much, since we frequently show up wearing the same clothes, own identical kitchen tables, drive the same kind of car, and as of late, have almost the same haircut. So a whole bunch of matching shirts seemed like too much fun to pass up.

"Kiki, seriously. Quit putting the rock in front of your face."

Another note about the rock: We all knelt down in a circle to pray for safe travels. Kiki placed her special rock in the center. We, in homage to Grandpa Jack and Papa Doug, went ahead and prayed to God AND the rock. Thanks for getting us home safe, you guys.

BRUCE DISCOVERS AMERICA

You know, like Columbus, who thought he was headed one place, but wound up somewhere else entirely, but that new place was pretty awesome.

SUBTITLE: The next time Bruce tells me he know a really cool 4WD loop that will take about an hour and is the in the direction of home, I will know what he actually means is a 4 hour out and back in the opposite direction of home. Also, provisions will be required.

Bruce, it was still fun. We aren't even mad.

The Colorado River

Picnic on the Colorado

Okay, Kiki might be a LITTLE mad.

A FEW WORDS ABOUT PIT TOILETS

Kiki is fascinated by them. Elise hates them. Kiki used this one and came out and told Elise, "You are a big chicken."
Liza had had it with her kid whining about needing to pee but not bucking up about the pit toilet. She forced Elise into going, but I could hear the howling all the way back at the truck. It sounded like a murder was going down in there.

Man, we had fun.

I'm Pretty Good At Interpreting Symbolism

During piano lessons the other day, I gave Kate, Kiki, and Chloe (my indispensable regular babysitter) a bunch of scrap paper and foam stickers to make cards. Nicely, both of the girls made one for me!

Look at Kate's first:

It is just like her- full of love and sunshine and rainbows and flowers and stars.
Notice that she even put extra colors on the rainbow.

Now for Kiki.
This is where a year of AP Art History will come in handy.

The card was hand delivered to me, so I know the message was meant for me personally.
The arrows mean that I can go somewhere.
It's pretty obvious the the pitchfork is hell.
And I think that the purple circle is a sun that "don't shine."

The only thing that has me stumped is the asterisk. Any ideas?

Life Lately

It's been a busy week!

On Wednesday we went to Disney on Ice. Bruce got sick at the last minute, so Janet and Alexis came with, and thanks to the chaos at the front door, no one noticed that we had 4 tickets for the 5 of us.

Lex has been working on her "picture smiles."

Our coaching didn't help. "Look natural!" or "Don't show your bottom teeth!" doesn't mean much to a 5 year old.

At least Janet's kid would look at the camera.

Kiki was just there for the popcorn,

and Kate was mostly fascinated by the zamboni.

Kate has been liking her hair curled lately.

I do it gladly because it makes her look so cute, and that makes her happy.
Although, in the spirit of 100% honesty, her hair is a giant pain in the rear. It is more like feathers than hair so curling a whole head of it is a real undertaking.

Kiki thinks dolls are for dummies so she has been dressing up her dragon.

"Rooaaar!!! And also, would you care for tea?"

We went to the dollar show at Sticky Shoes. But, since Kiki refused to wear shoes, it's actually "Sticky Feet" to us. And, since that still wasn't gross enough for her, she ate her fun dip with her finger.

Bruce thinks she looks like an Iraqi voter.

Make that an Iraqi-ki voter.
Ha. Ha.

The Brave and Cowardly Mother -or- If you are sick of reading posts about motherhood, I suggest you follow the blog of someone who is childless.

I've made no secret of the level of anxiety I have caused myself by worrying about Kate's lack of friends in her kindergarten class. For any new readers, she is not friendless by any stretch, she just didn't happen to know anyone in the class at the beginning of the year. I have tried to remind myself that while a room full of strangers would be a complete nightmare for ME, SHE has not been terrible bothered by the situation. Until lately, anyway. In the last few weeks she has really been wishing for a friend at school. I would help her pray at night, and if you want to feel like you have been simultaneously kneed in the guts and knifed in the heart, try listening to your sweet 6 year old pray, "Heavenly Father, I need a friend at school." It has been killing me.

While a part of me has wanted to do the legwork for her on this one, the "Parenting with Love and Logic" part of me (you know, the part I RARELY let out...) knows that she needs to learn how to make friends on her own. So I asked her who in the class she thought might make the best friend for her, and Kate thought a little gal named Sydnee might fit the bill (I volunteer in the class, and I will say that Sydnee is a doll.). We talked about ways that Kate could get to know Sydnee a little better, like paying her a compliment or asking her if she liked the Littlest Pet Shop. Kate is so darn shy, however, that after several days with only "aborted missions" Bruce wound up bribing her with a treat if she would talk to Sydnee.

Kate came home one day not long ago saying, "I talked to Sydnee today, so Daddy better bring me a treat." "Oh yeah?" I said, "What did you all talk about?" Kate said, "Well, I was in the library, and Sydnee came up to me, and she said, 'I really liked that book.' and I said, 'Oh.'"

It was time for me to get involved, just a little. I suggested to Kate that she write Sydnee a note inviting her to play, and Kate insisted she didn't dare, and I finally wound up just writing the darn note myself for Kate to give to her. Kate, even though she didn't have the guts to write her OWN note, did in fact possess the guts to say to me, the chief note writer, "Make sure it doesn't say anything dumb." And then Kate wouldn't even give her the note! Too afraid. I was so mixed up inside, because I really wanted her to make a friend on her own, but frankly, the nightly prayers for friendship were kicking my ass. So, I took the initiative and did some detective work and tracked down Sydnee's mom at school pick-up, knocked on the window of her van, introduced myself, handed over my note, and said I hoped the girls could play sometime.

And then I waited, and I'll tell you what, it was like when I was dating, and I would meet a guy and wait for him to call on pins and needles, only this was about TEN TIMES WORSE because my child is involved.

Today, I had a message from Sydnee's mom, inviting Kate to play. When I called back, Sydnee answered and when she called for her mom she yelled, "It's Kate's mom! It's Kate's mom!" and I can't even express how thrilled I was that this little girl is as excited to be Kate's friend as Kate is to be hers. They are playing on Thursday, and the best part of all is that Sydnee has a twin! Two friends!

Here's the thing: Let me tell you how far out of my comfort zone it is to go tracking down a woman I don't know, and giving her my number, and asking her to let our kids be friends. It's pretty far. It's something I would NEVER do on my own behalf- if I'm going to be your friend, it's probably going to take a mutual friend to build a bridge between us, or a shared activity, or something of that kind, but the chances of me walking right up to you and saying, "Hey, we should be friends," are ZERO. But for my child? I'll do it in a heartbeat.

Motherhood is a Circus Act.

Specifically, the high wire. I am trying so hard to keep my balance. Only in motherhood, if I fall, others get hurt.

What's complicated about motherhood is that the easiest thing in the short run frequently has the worst consequences in the long run. It would be easier for me to let the girls watch as much TV as they want, and eat what they want, and stay up as late as they want, and treat others how they want. Yet, a decade from now, when I have a rude, slovenly, and lazy kid the suffering is really going to start. Mine and theirs. So I walk the tightrope between too much structure and not enough, too much fun and not enough, too much discipline and not enough, and I've got to be honest and say that I constantly worry that I'm not doing things right.

And guess what? There's actually no such thing as the "right" way to be a mom. After Kate I thought I had all the answers, but along came Kiki and very little of my previous experience applied. It is so easy to look at others and think, "I would never let my kid go out looking like that," or "I would never let my kid say that," or "I can't believe she would tolerate that," and I say in defense of all mothers,
"She is doing the best that she can, and chances are good that she has got her reasons."
None of us has all the answers.

I am friends with a woman who is, by all accounts, pretty darn amazing. As I have watched her at church or around the neighborhood I have thought to myself, "There goes a woman who is doing everything right." She is currently going through a struggle that I do not envy, not in the least. And while I have no doubt that she is going to come through it just fine, she is scraping bottom to get through breakfast today. I realize that even the best mothers will see their children make mistakes and experience failures and hurt that they can't take away. It is going to happen to all of us.

I suppose that therein lies the comfort for us- motherhood can truly be a universal experience when we let it. We all are on the tightrope- what good can come of judging, or criticizing, or gossiping? We are all consumed with an infinite love for our children, we all fear for their futures, we all think this is a crazy world, and we all would do anything for them.

The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated. ~Washington Irving

I Finished "The Known World." It's a 2+4+5.

Don't know what I'm talking about?

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