It's the Final Countdown

Less than two days to go...This week has been going by in a blur. We started with a Barratt Family Reunion on Sunday. 

The Barratt Bunch

Lindsay, Theo, John, Dave, Jill, and Kate

Monday was for an afternoon at the pond with our friends Kristy and Taia. 

You know your children had fun when you couldn't get them to stop and pose for a decent photo.

Bruce took the day off on Tuesday, so we had our final lunch at Mi Ranchito.

Wednesday I emptied out Kiki's room so that Chance and Jamie could move in yesterday.

Kiki's room looks like this...

...meaning Kate's room looks like this...

...meaning an empty coat closet has become the new "playroom."

Today was Grandparent's Day at school.  It was also Kate's last day.  Grandpa Jack and Grandma Ellie both came.

"Is Grandpa George coming?" 

"Is Grandma Kay coming?" 

I answered in the negative to both.

"Only my DIVORCED grandparents are coming?!?!?"

She worked through her dismay and put on a great show.

Kate seemed to be doing fine.  She said her good-byes to her teachers, the teacher's aide, and her friends.  She cleaned out her desk and we left the school without much ado.  By the time we were in the parking lot, she was crying a little, and by the time we were home she was sobbing.  It was the worst.  She cried and cried and could not be consoled.  I tried to comfort her but it couldn't be done.  She just can't understand that this could possibly be worth it because she can't understand what is in store for us.  It was terrible, and as hard as my own farewells have been, it was infinitely worse to watch my child hurt through hers.

Thankfully, comic relief has been provided.  Each child in Kate's class wrote her a farewell message.

Here is one:

Kid, I don't know what's going down on the plane you drew, but I'm pretty sure I don't want that to happen.   Either that or I'm going to the Philippines in an awesome rocket.

R+B+B

If you ask a host in a restaurant to take your picture and to "make it kind of close," this is what you will get. 

I have said many times on this blog that I have been abundantly blessed in my friendships.  It seems a little excessive at times...what could I have possibly done in this life or the previous to deserve so many rich friendships?  But I'm grateful for them and I hope to always continue in this manner.

Last week I went to dinner with a couple of such friends, dear Rose and my sweet Brooke-let (Taggart, we missed you like crazy).  We have been friends since well, forever, since Rose is my cousin and Brooke and I met in the 90's which is basically ancient history.  It was a magical night...even the guitarist at the restaurant knew it since he played every song we had ever loved during our years living together.  It was an evening of love and support and sharing and every possible thing a friendship should be.  We dragged it on and on because I am really crappy at good-byes, and I was worried that this one would be among the worst I would have to say. 

I've asked myself so many times what has made this particular friendship so meaningful to me, and I think I finally have the answer.  I have a few childhood friends I keep in touch with: we had lots of good times in school together but we really weren't fully formed humans yet either.  I have lots of friends I have made at work or in the neighborhood, and they know the "grown-up" version of me.  But Rose and Brooke were witnesses to the transition from girl to adult.  They were there when I made painful mistakes, they were there when I had successes, they were there for the late night crying jags and the early morning job interviews, and this is what I know about these women:  They had my back for every single second and they never doubted me for a moment.  That conglomeration of experiences has created a relationship that is truly remarkable.

The time for the good-bye finally came and we handled it as best we could, but as I walked to my car I thought, "Get ready to cry the whole way home."  When I started driving, though, I was overwhelmed by a calm, calm feeling, and I didn't cry at all.  I felt a peace and comfort that was the same peace and comfort that I have always felt in that relationship, and I knew that time and distance was irrelevant and all that mattered were the strength of our bonds.

And they are strong.

It takes 3 Moms, 3 Dads, 9 siblings, 8 in-laws, 15 kids, and a sister at heart to make Thanksgiving.

Even though my mom said she wished I was gone already, I'm pretty sure that was her emotions talking.  All these goodbyes are starting to take their toll on both of us, and I have to say I've felt the same way...I'm just ready to get this new adventure started.  Even though going is hard on her, my mom has still shown me some good times in the last few days.  For my birthday she took me to "Mary Poppins" at the Capitol Theater.  It was excellent.  Had she known that the drive home was going to take until 1 in the morning, she may not have volunteered to host a huge family dinner the next day, but she didn't know, so she did host.

I was afraid I wouldn't get a proper Thanksgiving in the Philippines, so my request was Thanksgiving two months early.  All of my siblings (except poor Amber, who was traveling and was sorely missed) arranged their lives to be with me for the occasion, as well as their spouses, kids, all my parents, and Fake Mom and Papa Doug.  Janet (my sister at heart) even came with her family straight from the airport to be part of the day.  The kids played, the grown-ups cooked, we talked and laughed, we (mainly ME) cried a little, we ate and ate and ate and I think it was a perfect day.  And I will say this: Divorce isn't awesome.  But now, a few years removed from it, I'm glad my parents are with who they are with, and I love my blended patched together family.

Janet brought us cookies from the "Cake Boss."

"Kiki the Karnivore."

Em and I have been practicing our model poses.

Yay for Thanksgiving!  It was the perfect send off. 

I Have A Stalker and Other Testimony Builders

We have new neighbors behind us.  Kiki has been delighted with her new playmates, and they've nearly worn a path between our houses.  Because they are little girls though, they are still sorting out the "social graces" part of the friendship.  A couple of days ago Kiki and I were "getting ready" meaning I was blow drying my hair and she was putting on an obscene amount of make-up.  I would turn on the blow dryer, then turn it off thinking I heard a noise, but then I wouldn't hear the noise so I would turn the dryer back on.  This went on for a few minutes, but I was honestly thinking to myself that it was just the dog or I was hearing things or something.  My confusion was laid to rest, though, when I heard my little neighbor, whose frustration must have been reaching peaks, screaming at the back door, "I can hear you in there!  I can hear you!  I! CAN! HEAR! YOU!"

I can't wait for her first break-up because it is going to be EPIC.

Preparations around the house continue.  As much as I would like to think to myself that even though this is an incredibly stressful situation I am still playing it cool, Kiki's behavior is definitely indicating otherwise.  She is so worried that I will not pack her most important things (tank-tops and dinosaurs) that I can not turn my back for a second without her packing a bag.  Unfortunately for her, what I HAVE packed up are most of her little bags that kids seem to collect, so she has resorted to packing for the Philippines in grocery sacks.

Bruce arrived home on Saturday.  We hit the aquarium one last time on the way to the airport. 

We still don't have a place to live, but he is working that out, and reports that he thinks we are really going to love it there.

He brought back some Japanese candy for the girls.  One jelly-like candy caused Kiki to dry-heave in the car (which isn't completely out of the ordinary for us, but I had just had the car detailed so it was more upsetting than usual.).  Another looked like this.  I felt the packaging and contents were not an appropriate match: Something about a bird on a sack of brown and white balls didn't seem very appetizing. 

Bruce called us all together for Family Home Evening last night.  I've recently purchased Kate her very own Book of Mormon, and she is diligently reading away.  Bruce read to us a scripture that said if you wanted to know if the Book of Mormon was true, you could pray about it and Heavenly Father would give you a happy feeling inside that would tell you that it was true.

"...Or not."  Kiki said.

We sat in silence for a second or ten. 

Kiki went on.

"Pegasuses aren't true."

Bruce asked, "Well, Mags, what do you think IS true?"

She replied, "Regular horses."

Folks, it's the Primary Program on Sunday and she has a speaking part, so get ready.

Vaccination Station, What's Your Complication?

 Dear Nurse at the Utah County Health Department:

The picture above is of a child who has absolutely no idea what is about to go down here.  She doesn't know what typhoid is and why she should avoid it.  Furthermore, she doesn't care, since she is indeed a child, and no child can conceive of anything worse than a shot.  Also, she just went barefoot into the public restroom here in the building, so you are also going to need to vaccinate her against anything she might have picked up in there.  Maybe you don't care about the particulars of my personal situation, but let me boil it down to what is personal to you:  You will want to march your butt out into the hall and get yourself a back-up nurse because otherwise you personally will be needing the rabies vaccine.

Sincerely, Mrs. Hatch

And yes, it did take two of us to hold her down, while a third administered the shots. 

Kate was a total trooper.

 Kiki eventually got over the rage and insult.

I wound up with more shots than anyone since as it turns out, my tetanus was expired and I needed a Hepatitis as well as the typhoid and flu.   I haven't been too sympathetic with the girls and their sore arms.  It takes a very mature mother to say something like, "Your arms hurt?  Seriously?  I had twice as many shots as you and you don't see me crying about it."



Queen of Misinformation

The girls have some strange ideas about life...ideas, that while seem humorous in the moment, in hindsight make me think, "This child needs to be reprogrammed."

Kate said, "Since Kiki loves dinos and dragons she's probably going to marry a guy who really loves princesses and fairies."

I hope to hell not.

Kate stole Kiki's Happy Meal toy and Kiki was freaking out trying to get it back saying she didn't want Kate to break it, and Kate replied, "Come on, Kiki.  These things are IMPOSSIBLE to break."

Kiki heard a woman with accented English talking in Walmart and very authoritatively informed me, "That lady was speaking Span-ese."

Death By A Thousand Cuts

The tickets are purchased.  D(eparture)-Day is October 2, which seems shockingly close.  Bruce has spent the week in PH becoming acclimated and preparing the way for us.  At least that's what we are hoping, since communication has been a little spotty.  Every day I try to do a little something to get us closer to being ready. 

I really thought I was emotionally ready for this.  After all, I've felt (and still feel) that this was the right thing for us to do, but I guess there was no way to brace myself for how hard it was going to be to tear myself out of my warm little nest.  I've made changes in my life where I was so eager to put something behind me that I didn't feel the need to concern myself much with what was ahead of me.  It's pretty easy to soldier on ahead when you don't particularly feel like you are leaving anything behind.  This is so different...I can't begin to describe what it is like for me to live a life surrounded by loved ones.  I have family and friends who are close and readily available at a moment's notice for whatever I need.  I hope I'm that for them.  For a long time I tried to tell myself that I was an "independent woman" but that's not so for me.  I'm more an "interdependent woman."  I've been so content to feel like a productive and active part of my little society of friends and family.  Leaving this situation, no matter how strongly I feel that it is what we should do, has been painful.   

That said, the last week has been a bundle of good-byes.  Every person I see and every place I go causes me to wonder if that is the last time I will see them or go there for the next six months.  

We went to Wanship to say good-bye to my Grandma Go-Go.  She remembered me, and seemed warm to the girls.  She remembered the whole time that we were moving to the Philippines, but asked about ten times when we were leaving.  I kept it together, but I wonder if she will even know me anymore when we come home?  Some might think, "Why bother saying good-bye to a woman with Alzheimer's?" and all I can say to that is, "My kids don't have Alzheimer's."  It needed to be done.  

Kate is relishing her last few play dates.  Lex came over for a late night and they said they want to go somewhere "Fancy" for dinner, which to a 7 year old = Olive Garden.  Olive Garden, you could possibly be the one thing I definitely WON'T be missing. 

We spend most Sundays with George and Merrilee.  George and Kate grilled steaks and we sat around eating and visiting.  It's a tradition I'm really going to miss.

I peeked out the window and saw Kate and George shooting the breeze about who-knows-what, and there was something so casual and familiar about that moment that I had to take a picture. 

So it will last longer.

We met our newest niece, HaLee.  It was hello and goodbye all in the same day.

When we come home both of these girls will seem so grown up.

Dear Chance and Jamie,

If you really want, I can arrange for the girls to stay in the house.

Love, Me.

Monday night I went to an early birthday dinner with my bonus sisters, Amber and Emilee.  We had a delightful dinner and I completely enjoyed their company.  Amber narrowly escaped but Em wasn't so lucky: I had a little emotional breakdown in her driveway.  (Sorry about that, EH.)

Tuesday was my birthday, and my mom and my girls in the neighborhood made sure that even though Bruce was gone, the day was a great one.  We lunched and visited and cried a little.  (Or a lot when lunch was over and I was home alone.)

Me:  Anne, true friends always tell the truth.

Anne:  I agree.

Me: So you'd tell me if my pants made my hips look big?
Anne:  I'll say this: Make sure you wear those pants on our next movie date so I can sneak in a 32 oz. drink and a couple of corn dogs.

Birthday dinner?  Mi Ranchito.

If you had to ponder the answer to that question for more than about a half-second, you don't know us very well.  Jack and Kay laugh at my kids even though they make model poses on the back of the booths and throw their blankets in fried ice cream.  Don't even get me started about Jack...I can't even begin to think about how much I'm going to miss him without crying the ugly cry.  And not just because he always pays, either.