Happy Halloween!

Kate's been in countdown mode all week: "Five days 'til Halloween!" "Just two sleeps 'til Halloween!" Then this morning: "Halloween! Halloween! It's today!" Bruce went all out on the pumpkin carving- a haunted house and a skeleton. Scary...

My sister-in-law Jill has a Halloween birthday, and Dave and Angie both celebrate in October, so we had a combo Halloween/birthday party at my mom's.

Dave wishes that his nieces would quit mauling him.

There's always that ONE PERSON at a party who gets wasted and acts terribly. It was Kiki tonight. She was high on sugar and out of control. She dug into the birthday cake with her bare hands and FEET. She had frosting between her toes. I fail to set appropriate boundaries when I think my kids are funny. Tough cookies if you don't think my kids are funny.

Kay and Jack

George came dressed as...oh, heck. These are his regular clothes. Too many punchlines, not enough time.

Eric the pirate

"Hi! I'm Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, and soon to be, well, still the governor of Alaska. This is my daughter." Daughter: "Abstinence only sex education worked for me!"

I did have a "real" costume for Kiki which she absolutely refused to wear. Fortunately, she didn't mind periodically stuffing a ball up her shirt and getting a good laugh. She even started to rub the ball through her shirt like it was a pregnant belly.

My cowgirl

Nacho Libre: The Horror Version
(Dan, Dave, and Ben)

Bruce's work does a HUGE trick or treat. People go all out turning their offices and cubicles into scary places, everyone dresses up, and then the families come trick or treating. Bruce sent the girls into an office to get some candy, saying, "Go get some candy from that scary man!", then quickly realized that the "scary man" was the husband of one of his employees and he was not actually in any sort of costume.

P.S. I know there has been some talk among us lately of the difficulties in blogger getting your pictures in the order you want and other issues, and I'm surprised that the the least technologically minded among us (me!) knows the answer: EDIT HTML. You can move your stuff around however you want and then just click back to "compose." Try it, you'll like it, and a good portion of your complaints will be taken care of.

I Love America

I voted yesterday! I went to the library where the early voting was taking place, and the polls had opened even earlier then what the newspaper had said, but the line still snaked around and around the foyer. I was a little dismayed at the wait, but since Grandpa Jack was watching the girls I knew I better seize the opportunity. I waited about an hour before it was my turn, and I was amazed at how positive everyone was in line. I find myself talking about what is "wrong" with America today, but what is still RIGHT is that people who think nothing of ditching a full cart of groceries if the Walmart line exceeds three people will wait an hour to vote without complaint. When I left the line was so long it was snaking around two sides of the library.

Democracy still exists here. I cast a vote for whoever I wanted. You are free to disagree, and nothing bad will happen to us (other than a little awkwardness at the Judd Christmas Party) because of the way we each voted. I, as a woman, have the right to vote, which many take for granted but it's not a possibility for some women even in the world today. I had many candidates to choose from, and if I didn't like those, I could fill in whatever name I wanted. No one stood behind me with a gun, no one slaughtered me on the way out of the polling location. Democracy is a miracle in action, and despite all of the negativity and confusion that has come about during this crazy election, at the end of it all, WE HAVE OUR SAY. I voted for...the smart one.

"To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots are necessary. Thanks to our good old Constitution, and organization under it, these alone are necessary. It only needs that every right thinking man shall go to the polls, and without fear or prejudice vote as he thinks."
Abraham Lincoln

Going on the Record

I'm not a huge fan about going public with my personal goals and other emotional detritus, but I've decided to reveal a little something. I have decided to go without sugar (as in candy, cakes, cookies, and everything else worth eating) until Thanksgiving. I am on day 3. There are only two possible outcomes now that I have put this out in the universe: ACCOUNTABILITY or SHAME. I'm not a big fan of either- you can ask my old boss. I've spoken about this to no one, except for Paige (my indispensable sitter). I kept it short- "Paige, I'm giving up sugar, so if I'm a little bitchy, you know why." In hindsight, I realize she probably could have used a little more insight into what was sugar-induced crankiness, and what was just my God-given personality. For example:

"Paige, if in a screechy tone of voice I ask a hypothetical question that you don't dare answer, that's just my personality. However, if I am ranting and raving in the kitchen, and I keep eating string cheese mumbling, 'Something's not right here,' now that's to do with the lack of sugar. If I am in a cleaning frenzy, that's my personality, but if I am opening and closing cupboards urgently but yet I look a little listless, that's the sugar. If I seem alert but your gut is telling you that something could go wrong at any moment, well, I'm sorry, but that's just the way I'm wired. On the other hand, if my eyes are bulgy and I'm scratching at my skin incessantly, you may want to just find me a Three Musketeers in short order."

**********

Last night, the girls were so naughty at bedtime! Kiki is adjusting to life in her toddler bed, so I freely admit that she has a cry out every now and then. Kate however, thinks it is perfectly okay to get out of her own bed to "rescue" Kiki, take Kiki into Kate's room, and then play. Kiki wanted to sleep in Kate's bed, then her own bed, then Kate started whining about the maldistribution of hugs and kisses on the part of Bruce and I, and before you could say, "DCFS Speed Dial," I snapped. By this time it was quarter after ten (!), and since I get up at 4:45 to make it to the gym, I was MAD. I went to Kate's door and gave it a bang with the flat of my hand. Unfortunately, I hit the one spot on the door that had been repaired by the previous owner (apparently a graduate of the school of half-assed repair jobs) , and it was straight putty and maybe a piece of cardboard. Of course when I whacked it then, putty dust and shards flew everywhere.

It looks like I morphed into the Incredible Hulk and punched the door, but no. I started to laugh, but then I remembered that I was extremely aggravated so I got back into character.
I threatened Kate and Kiki within an inch of their very lives that if they did not assume a sleeping position and do so in silence that the ramifications would swift and furious. They must have believed me because peace reigned within minutes. I'm so glad Paige is coming tonight so she can deal with this crap. Of course, when she comes, the report is always, "They were fine! They just climbed in bed on their own and fell asleep by eight."

Here's what I will try tomorrow night.

I Put the "V.D." in "Ward Variety Show"

Our Ward Variety Show was last night. Kate was slated to sing "You are my Sunshine," with my mom tickling the ivories. I tried to prepare her without scaring her, by telling her that there would be lots of people, but she'd get to use a microphone, and it would be very exciting. You never know how your child will do at crunch time. I am so very happy to report that she came through like a star! Beyonce, not Britney. She stood up on stage, and sang nice and loud, and I may be a little biased, but I think she did a smashing job! The first video below is her rehearsal footage at Grandma Ellie's. Due to a little mix-up we didn't get her actual performance (don't even ask how sad I am!), but I promise she was every bit as good as she is in the video. My apologies for the rotation issue...

Bruce is the man on the bottom in the "Proposition 8 Melodrama." Okay, it was just a plain melodrama, but it totally looked like Bruce was being kissed by a guy, so I had to take a picture.

Janet, Arianne, and I sang, "Going to the Chapel." I can't say that it was my best performance ever. The fun part was that Kate had learned almost all the words, so when I looked out I could see her mouthing them right along with us. It was super cute.

After the variety show, there was a little dancing. Kate went ahead and tucked her skirt into her underwear to learn the "Boot Scootin' Boogie."



This is my mom and I playing the theme from "Exodus." We practiced and practiced so that we could play it our very best, but it's kind of a downer to go from playing it on a Yamaha Grand at home or my mom's to the upright at the church. It's never quite the same. I put the footage here anyway, and thanks to this video, I now realize that when I play, I sway like a Romanian orphan. Bummer.

Both my mom and I felt like we could have done a little better, and to tell you the truth, it was really eating at me on the way home from the church. Then I thought back to earlier in the evening, when my Grandma Judd was listening to my mom and I rehearse, and there was such a nice feeling there. When we were done, Grandma had tears in her eyes, and she told my mom that it was so rewarding for her to see the benefits of all of the music lessons my mom had. I know that my grandma and grandpa made many sacrifices so that their kids could have music lessons, and I also know that my own parents made sacrifices in turn so that Liza and I could have years of piano lessons as well (and like a week's worth of sacrifices for my brothers). My Grandma wished out loud that my grandpa could have been there to hear us play, and I think that the good feeling I felt was my Grandpa's spirit there with us as we played. As I thought about this on the ride home, I knew that the performance that REALLY mattered happened hours before at my mom's.

Grandma Go-go was so nice to travel down to see us all perform. We had so much fun with her: We went to lunch, and visited, and went to church, and had Sunday dinner. Kate loves her Grandma Go-go so much, and we are so happy we got to spend time with her!

This Man is a Killer

And George seems rather proud of himself. When I saw the legs sticking out (notice behind his head) I asked if he killed two deer, and he looked at me as if I had a disability and said, "That's the other half of the same deer." I gagged a little. Kate refused to touch it, instead choose to pose prettily in close proximity with her bouquet.

Embarassing Moments

Moment one: Was trying to call American Express to get my balance. Accidentally called "800" instead of "888" number. Reached a sex hotline.

Moment two: Drove to Walmart. Shopped. Came out and could not locate vehicle. Wandered parking lot thinking, "Where in the heck did I park?" Started to panic, thinking that my vehicle had most certainly been stolen. Was about to call Bruce and the police in a tizzy when I realized I had driven the Honda to Walmart, and not the Toyota I was looking for.

Moment three: Received eye brow wax today. Here's a list of actual statements the esthetician made, all of which should be filed under the heading, "Things to NEVER say when waxing someone's brows":

Woah! That was a long one!
These black ones are hard to get out.
Hey, this one is growing straight at me!

Certainly there is some beauty school class entitled "Basic Etiquette 101." Karly got an F.

I Heart My Neighborhood

This morning my friend Sue called to let me know that some flour I had ordered through church had come in. "Go get it at the silos," she said. I went down to the silos (a local landmark, and yes, I guess I do live in the boon docks), where pallets of flour were sitting out next to the road. A clipboard was sitting on a bale of hay with a note that said, "Cross off your name when you get your flour." Someone had even attached a check to the clipboard. Driving home I was thinking what a great neighborhood I live in. First of all, it was a huge job for some nice person to order flour for our whole neighborhood. Then, it's pretty cool that a level of trust exists between a group of people that would allow us all to be on the honor system to pick up only what we ordered. As for leaving a check by the side of the road...now that was kind of dumb.

The giant crafting activity I was in charge of was last night. If I had a nickel for every time I said, "I have the worst calling in the church," in the last month, I would have $3.45. I'd have $1.95 for all the times I said, "I can't wait until this night is over with," and for saying "What in the @#$%?" I'd have $ .60. Seriously though, we had good participation and people seemed to be pleased with their items. Between those who gave classes, brought food, and watched kids in the nursery, I had over 30 people who were willing to put forth the time and effort to help me out. That's another reason why I love my neighborhood.

I like to give back. So now I will give all of you the recipe for the best fudge I have ever, EVER eaten, and that is HANDS DOWN. Get your pencils ready (and whatever methods of preventative medicine you employ, because this is not health food):

TO DIE FOR FUDGE:

4 cups sugar
1 can evaporated milk
3 giant Hershey bars
1 cup butter
1 lb. walnuts

Over medium heat, stir sugar and milk until it boils. Boil 8 minutes. Remove from heat and add sliced butter and broken up chocolate bars. Stir until smooth and add walnuts. Pour into 8x11 foil lined and buttered pan. Cool until set up. Bask in the glow of the compliments you will inevitably receive.

The recipe came from a lovely lady in my NEIGHBORHOOD of course! And of course, now my mom lives in the neighborhood. Yay! You all should move here immediately. But you can't be cranky and harsh the vibe.

Current Obsessions

Obsession #1: Warren Buffett: Not in a creepy "daddy issues" kind of way, more like I just read "Snowball" (his biography) in less than a week. It was about 900 pages of riveting information; I even read the footnotes and endnotes. He predicted (although he insists he never makes "predictions") the internet stock bubble bursting, the weakened state of the dollar, and the mortgage crisis- all years before the occurrence. It was based on logic, and not just panic and guesswork. He is a fascinating guy, and I'm relatively certain Bruce is sick of me interjecting the phrase, "Know what Warren Buffet thinks about that?" into every conversation. Hey, it's not my fault that the thoughts of my new friend Warren are relevant to all conceivable topics of conversation. If you have some serious spare time, pick up "Snowball" at your local library for a really great read.


Obsession #2 is my new Danskos. Liza turned me on to the orthopedic bliss offered by said shoe. OF COURSE I couldn't choose just plain black! I'm sporting the leopard print. In my mind, leopard print is like khaki or black- it goes with EVERYTHING. Thanks for the tip, Liza.


Obsession #3: More books! I can never read just one book at a time. Here's what's currently on the nightstand:
-Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq, Thomas Ricks. I'm only one chapter in, but the author was a finalist for the Pulitzer for this book, and it's already obvious why. (Someday, Lindsay, I will give this book back...so sorry.)
-The Omnivore's Dilemma, Michael Pollan. Thanks for the recommendation, Rose. It's a great read. I'm almost done.
-This Land is Their Land, Barbara Ehrenreich. If you haven't read "Nickeled and Dimed" or "The Working Poor" by Ehrenreich, you are missing a serious opportunity to lay your head on your pillow at night and think to yourself, 'You know, I don't have it so bad.' This book is more of the same straight talk/gut check.
-And to balance out all this non-fiction, I've got the US Magazine coming to me on a weekly basis. I'd hate to become too intellectual, so I dumb it down every Friday.

Obsession #4: Locating the perfect milk chocolate buttercream frosting. Help me. I must have it.

Sibling Rivalry

Kate and Kiki, as previously mentioned, have a love/hate relationship. I'm amazed by the speed at which even the most tranquil of situations can go completely sour. Kate cries, Kiki bites, and total meltdowns are achieved in moments. I know that I expect more of Kate because she is older, and that seems unfair sometimes that Kiki skates by because she's the "baby." We've started putting Kiki in time outs, and frankly, she seems to enjoy it. Not exactly what I had in mind for a disciplinary strategy. Here's a couple of conversations from the last few days.

Kate snatches a toy away from Kiki, oblivious to her screams of despair and frustration. Kate then comes to me and says, "Look! I'm teaching Kiki how to share."

Same scenario, different day. I said, "Kate, what can you do to be a peacemaker?" She ran out of the room shouting, "Kiki! Kiki! Get over here for your spanking!"

Goin' to Pocatello In My Mind

Merrilee, the girls, and I went to see Liza and family in Pocatello this weekend. I promised my mom that I would state that she drove the whole entire time. It was fun to get away and have a low key and relaxing weekend with my sister and her family. We did a little shopping, saw a movie with the kids, and generally just hung out. Kate and Elise love each other as much as ever and spent the weekend developing their bond. Charlie is still obsessed with guns. He "shot" me the instant I walked in the door, but I'm sure it was meant affectionately. The highlight of the trip was McKee's Pet Store and Petting Zoo.

Kate and the goats.

Kiki is so happy to be riding the little merry-go-round that I'm a little embarassed to reveal that I was too cheap to put the 50 cents in for her to actually ride it. She is at a total standstill here.

Charlie is happy, and is also actually in motion.

Kiki says, "Watch out turkey! Thanksgiving is coming and I am going to GET YOU!" She did not care for this bird at all.

Kiki dives in head first to pet the bunnies.

In the pet store portion of the place, Kate picked up a dried up horse hoof, put it to her ear and said, "Elise, put this on your ear and you can hear the water."

I'm Forced to Be a Stealth Cleaner

Kate's room has been becoming increasingly more disgusting, and I knew I was approaching the breaking point, but I have been a little preoccupied. However, I recognized the opportunity for some deep cleaning the other day- Kiki went down for an early nap and Kate was at pre-school. While I understand the argument of teaching accountability by cleaning the mess together, I just wasn't in the mood for an ongoing debate about the merits of a broken toy or the tears resulting from having to part with outgrown clothing. "That is my favorite toy/shirt ever, ever, EVER!" she would shriek while clutching some dust covered reject. It was a solo mission, and that's all there was to it.

Here's what came out from under her bed. I was shocked.

Sure did take three pictures to get it all. Any kind of cleaning that requires a broomstick, disinfectant, and vacuuming with attachments is pretty darn satisfying. Kate came home to a nearly spotless room (I was just wrapping things up), and I easily deflected her questions about where her clothes and toys had gone by pointing out the new clothes that had room in her drawers now.

If you are wondering what to get her for Christmas, the answer is "NOTHING."

Watch Out on April Fool's

I was walking Kate to pre-school this morning, and when we passed our neighbor's rose bush Kate remarked that she didn't like the "stickers" on the roses bushes. I said, "They're called thorns." Kate surprised me by replying, "Like they put on Jesus' head?" I said yes, and entered a little moment of contemplation about that. Kate broke the silence by saying, "That was a pretty funny joke."

Milestones

After several weeks of wiggling and praying (including one premature yank that may have been successful had the blinding pain been less of a surprise), Kate has lost her first tooth!

We are praying that these teeth fall out ASAP.

When Bruce and I put in a big jetted tub, we thought it would be a relaxing oasis. It's turned out to be an oasis some of the time, but a playland most of the time. I took this picture because I always want to remember how much fun these two girls had in their bubble bath.

We woke up to the first snow of the season. It was shocking and Kiki was extremely mad about the cold. Kate is in denial and is currently sporting shorts and a T-shirt.

Childhood milestones are like the snow- no matter how ready you think you are, they always come too soon.

Self Portrait

Kate's discovered the fun in a "Stretch Arm and Smile!" self portrait.
Shown is some of her recent work.

Occasionally she still turns the lens outward. Kiki is a willing model.

CSI: Housekeeping

David Caruso and friends, you've got nothing on me. What is motherhood without keen instincts and observational skills?

Hasn't every mother said or done the following things?:
Sniffed a mouth and said, "Go brush your teeth."
Screamed, "Get in here and flush the toilet!!"
Checked a dirty diaper to see if that was actually a piece of string your kid ate.

All detective behaviors.

A typical scenario: I walk in the door. This perpetrator, whoever it is, has consumed a turkey sandwich with cheese, mayo, and lettuce without the need for a plate. Based on the clues, he/she is shoeless and shirtless within 20 feet of the back door. I follow the evidence down the hall to the bathroom. I radio dispatch. "I called in a 10-2," I say, "but this is actually a 10-1. Both seats are up." The trail leads to the bedroom. Definitely a scene of a crime- looks like the clothing change was completed here. Hamper is still closed and empty. I hear muffled voices coming from somewhere- I follow my ears to find three full-bellied, half dressed criminals crashed out in front of the TV. "It's like you have ESP," Bruce says. "You know every move we made since you left." It's not ESP, I'm just following the many and varied pieces of evidence.

The one thing that never changes? The victim. She is always a 34 year old white female.

It's Easy To Become a Snob- You Just Have to Apply Yourself a Little

One of the nicest things about the company Bruce works for is that they pay for a suite at the Energy Solutions Arena. Last night Bruce and I went to the Suns/Jazz game. We cheered for the Suns, even though Bruce accidentally wore a light blue shirt. Here is the Shaq, sitting on the bench where he belongs. This man earns $20 million a year, and he runs slow and can't shoot. So other than his God-given height of 7'1", there isn't anything about him that would warrant such a paycheck. But, I digress.

It is so easy to get used to being in the suites. We are at center court, so it's a great seat no matter if you are going to a game or concert. Here's the cycle of snobbery:

The first time in the suites I felt a little self conscious. I didn't know where to hang my coat or where to sit. That's how it goes the first time you experience something nice: "I hope everyone doesn't realize that I am a poser."

By the second or third time, I was starting to feel right at home, enjoying the hot appetizers, cold beverages, and homemade cookies. Now I was getting used to it: "Man, it sure is nice to watch a game and have my own private bathroom."

The last step to snobbery is a relatively easy leap: "Those nachos better be hot when I get there, or I'm having words with the staff," I said. "And if there's not Diet Coke in the fridge, I'm coming unglued." We have arrived at SELF ENTITLEMENT, the hallmark of snobbery.

AND THAT IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY.

We are in an economic mess, and it's because all the way down the line from the President to "Joe Six-Pack" (whoever you are) we all felt entitled to certain things. Our Congress passed laws deregulating certain industries, and I bet they did so because they felt entitled to whatever perks their banking lobbyists promised them. Perhaps the more altruistic ones (is there such a thing as an altruistic Congressman? I'll ask Ted Kennedy.) thought that they were helping out their constituents, but they certainly felt that they would be entitled to your vote because of it.
Then these deregulated companies, whose leaders felt entitled to make as much money as possible, used their new-found freedoms to allow insane home loans and other questionable business practices. Even now, after $38 billion in government bailouts, AIG executives spent $440,000 on a resort getaway last week. I would give anything to know how that came about in a board meeting.

Executive #1: Man, this derailing the economy has given me tension in my neck.
Exec #2: You know, me too, and for some reason I can't sleep at night.
Exec #1: I could really use a massage, and maybe a mani/pedi.
Exec #2: Let's do it, but invite the rest of the executives so we can call it a business meeting. Thank goodness we have money now.

Didn't ONE SINGLE PERSON at AIG think to themselves, 'This doesn't seem like such a great idea?'

Now we arrive at the millions of Americans who felt entitled to a big house, or a fancy car, and let's admit to ourselves, that while industry was peddling crap, we chose to buy it, at inflated prices and on an ARM mortgage with a balloon payment. Millions of us chose to believe that we could afford things that we couldn't, on logic that was no better than the President, no better than the Congress, no better than those business executives, and no better than Shaquille O-Neal's. "I deserve it," we thought. Well, we deserve what's happening now as well. We live in a capitalist society, a free market, and this free market wants to weed out those who can't manage sustainable business practices, and those who can't actually afford to be homeowners, and a giant government bailout is only going to impede the economic Darwinism that should be taking place about now.

Perhaps in the future instead of asking, "Do I deserve this?" we will learn to ask, "Can I AFFORD this?"

Goings-On and Happenings

I've been so busy planning my Sarah Palin Halloween Costume (seriously, that's what I'm going to be. Watch for pics.) that I haven't updated for a few days. Elise and Charlie came to stay last weekend while Dave and Liza went to St. George. The kids slept over at Grandma Ellie's house with Kate for two nights. Kiki seemed to really enjoy being an "only child" for a couple of days. Kate and Elise were so cute together. "We are best cousins," they said. "That's cousins who are also best friends." We went to my mom's for dinner on Sunday- Bruce has been out of town for a conference so he missed out on the fun. I don't want to brag, but I made the most delicious German Chocolate Cake. It was a new recipe which is always a gamble, but it paid off in a big way. It's "Sandy's Chocolate Cake" from Allrecipes, with homemade German Chocolate Frosting. Yum.

Kiki in Grandma's backyard.

Kiki loves George's dog, Ringer. He is so desperate for human affection that he thinks Kiki pulling his hair is like a hug or a kiss.

On Saturday morning I braved the rain with Jack, Charlie, Elise, and Kate to go on a field trip. It was to a field. We saw "sheeps" (as Charlie says), turkeys, chickens, and little miniature ponies. The kids were thrilled with their giant turkey feathers that Grandpa Jack had collected.

I know that this one is dark, but this is Kate at gymnastics taking her maiden voyage across the tall balance beam. It was an exciting time!

Since Janet and I don't have the stomach for any more canning, but we still have tomatoes, we decided to make our own dried ones. I love sun-dried tomatoes. Rose gave me the instructions in a nutshell, I borrowed George's dehydrator, and I began the experiment yesterday. I had 6 or 8 very large Brandywine tomatoes. They filled up almost the whole dehydrator. I began to worry- could I freeze the extras? Would they go bad before I could eat them? Well, all that stress was for naught, because as it turns out, a dehydrator FULL of fresh tomatoes results in a yield of ONE PINT (two cups!) of dried tomatoes.
Yes, folks, that's a jam jar. But they are beautiful, no?

Lastly, had I known that the "Crap Counter" would be such an effective behavioral modification device I would have instituted it months ago. But yes, Bruce has cleaned up the pile of papers! For the record, the pile was carbon dated to much older than 95 days: One of the uppermost items was a card from Bruce's birthday, which was in APRIL. Watch for: Kate's Whine-O-Meter ("I'm not whining, I'm actually CRYING," she said the other day), Kiki's Bite Marks, and my Swear Jar (with online banking transfers available).

Compared to Thursday night, Saturday's and Sunday's debates were totally TAME. No name calling, no pleas to review the facts, no deer in the headlights looks...Wait a minute...okay then, I've just been informed that that was actually Conference. No wonder everyone agreed. My bad.

The Final Tally is In!!!

Janet and I canned our last batch today. If I had blogged about every time we canned something, that would have been the sole topic since August, so I have skipped a lot of the details. Today, after I pulled our last bottle of applesauce from the water bath, I took a moment to calculate the totals (drum roll, please):

369

That's right. 369 jars of peaches, tomatoes, applesauce, apple pie filling, pears, pear sauce, and 1 experimental batch of chili (final verdict on the chili? NOT WORTH THE WORK.). I feel quite satisfied with our labors. Just the other day Janet and I talked about how rewarding it was to look at a processed jar of applesauce in the afternoon, and know that it was an apple hanging on a tree just hours before.

In these crazy economic times, it is nice to know that my family has a whole year's worth of fruit and I spent less than $50 to do it.

Not Bad, Master Debaters!

I sure did tune in for the VP debates last night! I was very VERY afraid given Governor Palin's round-a-bout-not-really-a-responses of the last week. I got a good laugh from this article on Slate by Kitty Burns Florey attempting to diagram statements made by Palin:

"From the Charlie Gibson interview:

I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people.

I didn't stop to marvel at the mad thrusting of that pet political watchword "families" into the text. I just rolled up my sleeves and attempted to bring order out of the chaos:

I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there's anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I'd be delighted to hear from you."

Of course, as anyone who has read MY blog knows, I have the SAME PROBLEM!

I am truly undecided right now, and although I have made quite a few jokes about Palin (c'mon, she's made herself an easy target with the pageanting, hunting, and rambling-such rich fodder for a humorist such as myself...) I was interested to hear what each of the candidates had to say. Thankfully (!), the debate was not the train wreck I feared it would be. Here is my official analysis:

Palin: I dug her suit and cute red shoes. I also appreciated that her beehive was a little lower, since I had been distracted by that in the past. She spoke better than I expected she would. On the negatives: Needs to NIX the words "small town mayor" "energy" and "maverik" from her vocabulary forever. No one who pursues election to public office is that much of a maverik. Want to know a real maverik? Jack Barratt, and the personality traits that make him a maverik totally preclude him from desiring to serve in the government (and no one in their right mind would ever vote for him).

Biden: Perhaps it was the HDTV, but the pinstripe in his suit appeared to be made of glitter. His expertise in foreign policy was obvious and a little intimidating. He certainly kept his temper in check- Palin jabbed and I wish he would have gone a little bit more on the offensive. I think it's possible he had been drugged.

I fantasized about the possibility of a ticket that bends the time space continuum (or at least party lines...). I'd take a McCain/Biden ticket. Or McCain 8 years ago. Or Obama 8 years from now.